The First Look

Most Brides see their Groom for the first time on their wedding day as they walked down the aisle, but now that's not always the case. Many couples are choosing to have a "First Look" to ease their nerves and spend more time together on their big day.

Sometimes the Bride wants to keep the tradition alive of her future hubby not seeing her until she's escorted down the aisle so she asks her Groom to face his back to her so she can simply touch him and talk to him without him seeing her, or sometimes the Groom gets blindfolded.

Past clients of ours, Leigh and Derek met in the hallway of the hotel they were getting ready at prior to their ceremony to hold hands and exchange gifts. They didn't look at one another, but being able to connect before they said "I do" helped these two connect and feel at ease.

A lot of couples are choosing to have their photos done prior to the ceremony as well. This allows for more time as time is usually somewhat limited between the ceremony and reception. Also, this enables the everyone, especially the Bride to have a fresh look as their make-up was recently applied and they likely haven't shed many tears yet.

First Looks have become more popular and more acceptable the past few years. I think they are a great idea if time allows. But, if you do stick to tradition and wait to see your Groom until you walk down the aisle, check out this slide show that has some things Grooms thought/felt when they saw their Bride for the first time.
Are you planning on having a First Look? 

How to deal with unruly guests

Unruly guests can be like this person, or these people. They are the guests that make you anxious about inviting them to your wedding. You want your day to be perfect, so having a drunk guest fall into your cake, or a baby crying throughout your vows or a co-worker kissing your divorced Dad is all situations you want to avoid.

So, how can you deal with unruly guests?

1. Be smart when planning your guest list as discussed in our last post.

2. Have plenty of food to keep empty stomachs from getting intoxicated too quickly.

3. Close the bar during dinner to reduce the amount of alcohol consumed in a short amount of time.

4. Have water available during cocktail hour to hydrate guests during a summer wedding.

5.Present kids will goody bags filled with coloring books, puzzles and such to keep them occupied during your ceremony, dinner and speeches.

6. Ask your Hubby-to-be to have a chat with his unruly guests - his guests are typically the Class Clowns and Party Animals. They've likely been high school or college friends for years, so he's the best person to ask them to stay in line.

7. Tell your Wedding Coordinator about difficult guests. Give them info about family dynamics and who to be on the look out for. We can come in handy as a mediator when we need to.

8. Plan your seating chart accordingly. It's best not to sit all of the heavy drinkers/party animals together - they will feed off one another and be the loud and unruly table. Let them organically find each other on the dance floor.

9. Chat with your family members and parents about troubled guests like the slutty cousin, divorced grandparents, etc. Family matters can interfere weddings, so it's best to tip it in the bud.

Did these tips help? How do you plan on dealing with unruly guests?

Who shouldn't make the list?

Did you read the last post about a guest that took part in an inappropriate activity over the main course at a wedding? Check it out here if you missed it.

In today's post we'll talk about what you can do as a Bride or Groom planning your guest list and the kind of guests you might ask yourself, "Should they make the list?"

The first thing you can do when making your list is to only invite friends, family, co-workers and such that you know and trust. Sure you want to invite your old elementary school friend, or the kid you grew up next door to, but if you don't really know these people now - don't invite them. People change, and you don't want to be surprised (or disappointed) with how they turned out on your most special day.

Now, no one is perfect - we know this, but you have to be realistic while planning your wedding. When we say realistic we mean by setting a manageable budget, maintaining your expectations and knowing what kind of personality and behaviors your guests have. When creating your guest list keep these types of guests in mind:

The Class Clown. This is the guy with no filter and thinks his sense of humor is oh-so-hilarious. He can sometimes be brash, hurtful and immature. Do not let the class clown give a speech - unless of course he's the Best Man then you might want to have someone, like your coordinator review it before he releases the ghosts in your Grooms closet.

Troubled Guests. Troubled can mean whatever you want it to depending on your level of comfort, values, culture or religion. This could be guests suffering from depression, going through a divorce, has an overly negative outlook or are into drugs/crime.

The Party Animal. Sometimes the Class Clown is this person as well. Typically the Party Animal drinks a lot. Your guests are going to drink, and some will get intoxicated, but if you're inviting someone who drinks heavily, binges or outright has a drinking problem - beware.

The Slut. I hate to say it, but almost everyone knows one. You know, she's the girl that will wear a dress shorter than short, and will make it her mission to hook up on your wedding night. Casual flirtation is welcome at weddings and a lot of times people do hook up at weddings and end up dating and sometimes even get married themselves, but look out for the slut. When building your guest list and adding her name do you immediate picture her making out in the corner with your adorable cousin? If you answered yes, perhaps you can invite her to the Bachelorette, but skip the wedding invite.

The Ex. Do not invite your ex or your Grooms ex to your wedding. Unless of course you're that one off couple that married your ex's sister/brother. Past loves should stay in the past. 

The New Parents. Some people don't want to have kids at their wedding and that's just fine, but beware that some guests, specifically new parents who might feel slighted that you didn't include little Bobby in the invite. If you're worried about some guests bringing their children, be sure to state on the invite that it's a celebration for adults only. And if you need to, sit down with your friend who's a parent and explain to them that you'd love to spend time with them and their kid(s), just not on your wedding day.

Weddings are about celebrating with family and friends and we know that you won't be able to totally avoid inviting some of these characters - so next post we'll discuss how to deal with unruly guests. Stay tuned!

Are you THAT guest?!

Over the past 5 years of coordinating weddings, I've seen some pretty interesting and sometimes embarrassing behavior from guests and wedding party members. There's been a few times I've cringed while the Best Man gave his speech (or rather a roast to the Groom). I've shaken my head in disbelief at conversations overheard in the lobby or the bathroom, and I've looked on in awe at how alcohol makes people think they're as good of a dancer as Michael Jackson in his Thriller days.

Now don't get me wrong - weddings are meant to be fun - a celebration in honor of two people in love. I'm all for everyone having a good time, for that's why the Bride & Groom are hosting such a fete. But, let's remember that some people look at weddings like they would a nightclub, or a high school prom. Depending on the type of guests that are in attendance, things can sometimes get a little wild.

As I said, I've witnessed some crazy things from guests while coordinating weddings, and thankfully none have been overly inappropriate. A few weeks ago I heard a story from a pair of friends that are newlyweds, and I hope to never ever encounter what one of their guests did! Without crossing any lines, I'll let you use your imagination with this one....a female guest in a dress brought a random guy as her date and while it's proper etiquette to not have your elbows on the table during dinner, this guy took it to another level and didn't have his hands visible during the main course. So to say the least, he skipped the main and went straight for dessert. Thankfully the Bride & Groom didn't serve Tiramisu which is made with 'lady fingers'. BAH!

So when attending a wedding, ask yourself - do you want to be THAT guest that people talk about over brunch the next day - or even weeks, months and years after the wedding? Dress appropriately, don't conduct lewd acts in public, pace yourself when drinking and just be mindful of your actions. Have a good time, share some laughs, flirt a little and party, but do yourself a favor and don't be THAT guest.

Losing Weight for your Big Day!

I hear it all the time from clients, friends and family - they want to lose weight before their big day.
Sometimes it's not just the Bride that wants to lose a few pounds for her trip down the aisle, but it's also Bridesmaids, Mothers of the Bride or Groom and even guests.

Recently I started replacing 1 or 2 of my meals a day with protein shakes from Arbonne. And in just one week, I lost 5 pounds! They are easy to make, are completely vegan and gluten free and taste so good!
Seriously, they taste nothing like a regular protein shake. They are smooth, delicious and good for you!

If you're looking to shed some inches, let me know and I can order you products from Arbonne to get your body and skin in tip-top shape for your special day! As an Arbonne Consultant I can get you discounts and special offers on any of their awesome plant-based products.

Check out the line of health & fitness products here.

The Maid/Matron of Honour

A few weeks ago we chatted about the Best Man, so now it's the ladies turn. The Maid or Matron of Honour is the Bride's right hand gal, and is with her through all of the good, and dare I say it bad times during the planning and celebrating.

Weddings are stressful. The Bride is making a huge life change by becoming a wife, and they're planning the biggest party ever - so they're bound to feel overwhelmed. The Maid/Matron of Honour is likely her best friend, sister or cousin - someone that they love and trust. This is the person she can vent to about how overbearing her future Mother-in-Law is being, or how her hubs-to-be is simply nodding his head at all of her suggestions. She is also the person that will tell the Bride she's beautiful on her wedding day no matter the weight she wishes she had lost - because it's true. All Brides are stunning on their wedding day, and the MOH will make sure that her friend knows it too.

If you've been asked to be a MOH it is just that - an honour. The Bride has chosen you to be by her side on her special day - to help her get ready, socialize with her family and friends at the wedding and assist with all of the pre-wedding festivities.

Here are some key things a Maid/Matron of Honour will do:

- Assist with planning the Bridal Shower(s)
- Show up on time for the Bridal Shower(s), help with the food, mingle with guests & record the gifts
- Plan the Stag & Doe (if the couple want one) with the other members of the Wedding Party
- Participate in choosing the Bridesmaid dresses
- Join the Bride when choosing her dress, or at least attending the final fitting.
- Help the Bride get ready on her wedding day
- Give a speech at the reception
- Assist with any tasks that may be required of you at the wedding (and or aiding the Coordinator)
- Make sure the Bride is enjoying her wedding - be positive, be happy and stay sober!

If you've been asked to be a MOH, congrats! It's an important role - so be sure to take it seriously while still having fun!

*Photo by Elizabeth in Love

Paying for an intangible service

Okay, I've got to give a little talk here - no soap box, no mega phone - just me hoping to shed light on my perspective, why we charge what we do for our services and how Day of Coordination isn't a tangible service, but is well worth placing it in your list of vendors to hire for your wedding day.

When potential clients contact me, it’s typically because they've:

a) been referred from pleased past clients

b)  heard good things about me through the grapevine

or

c) searched online and found that I come up on top for "Hamilton Wedding Planner (or Coordinator)"

Once I get an inquiry, I get back to them with details about Day of Coordination, the length of time required to execute the services and the fee. Brides that know the value in having a certified professional on site to execute their details will reply back fairly promptly and take up my offer to meet to see if we’re a good fit. Most of my Brides are organized, detail oriented and your typical Type A personalities – and I love them for it! They know what they want, and they know how to get it – by hiring a Coordinator to do all of the tasks they can’t on their wedding day. But then there are the Brides that want to have a Coordinator, but don't want to pay for our quality services. This bothers me.

On location during the photo shoot for
newlyweds Brooke & Richard.

Day of Coordination services are typically 35-40 hours of service, with 12, sometimes 14 of those hours being executed on your wedding day. Other than your DJ and Photographer, who else works for you that long on your wedding day? Brides will pay more for their flowers and cake than they will for our services – so this is where my tangible and intangible piece comes into play.

You'll pay big bucks for a DJ, and for your investment you will hear the tunes pumpin’ all night.
You’ll pay more than enough for your cake, which will be dropped off, displayed and likely not eaten.
You’ll pay hundreds, sometimes thousands for your flowers, which yes, are beautiful - but at the end of the night end up thrown out, or given to guests during the famous centrepiece giveaway.



So, when I inform Brides about my fee and they want to negotiate or flat out say I'm too expensive, I think this (and maybe I should start saying this too)....

Our services are not tangible like those mentioned above. You can't touch, eat or smell what we do – but we're there working for you the whole time. We’re the ones that keep you calm and organized, and keep your wedding party and guests on time for key events. We’re the ones that pick up garbage from photo shoot locations, and make sure the washrooms are always clean and stocked. We fix your hair, veil and dress. We set-up your details, and take them down. We coordinate timing and services with all of your vendors, and make sure they're providing the services you're paying for. We coordinate your rehearsal, ceremony, photo shoot and reception. We communicate with your DJ and MC to make sure the speeches occur on time and in order. We work together with the catering staff to ensure dinner is served promptly and correctly. We wear many hats during the execution of the services, and we are always working. We trouble shoot, solve issues and above all, do all that we can to give you a memorable event.

So, do you see the value in having a Day of Coordinator? Check out our Applause page for what some of our past clients have to say. An experienced Day of Coordinator is worth the cost, and worth adding to your list of vendors to make your day magical.

I guess in the end, you can consider our tangible item to be the amount of stress we take away from you and your future hubby. Now, I think that's better than any song, slice of cake or flower.

* Image taken by Unveil Photography

From Bridesmaid to Bride

When I met Erin in November 2011, she was a Bridesmaid for her sister Leigh's wedding.
Now, she's engaged to her longtime boyfriend Jeff and will see me again in September 2013 when she is a Bride!

We often get referrals from past Brides and Grooms, and typically it's their friends or co-workers - so this  is the first time that we're going to be executing another wedding for the same family! It will be such a pleasure to see Leigh as a Bridesmaid, and now Erin as the Bride! I'm so excited to be able to work with these two gals again, and to help Erin & Jeff keep calm on their very special day.

Stay tuned next year for a teaser post about their wedding and then for a re-cap after they've said "I do."

Erin as a Bridesmaid for her sister Leigh's wedding.
Photo by Red Lotus Photography

Momma's Boy

As a daughter, you're most likely the apple of your father's eye. You're daddy's little girl, and we dig that. Daddy is the first man a girl ever loves and trusts. So, on your wedding day he will walk you down the aisle, give you away to your Groom, and have a dance with you. All that good gooey father/daughter stuff is welcomed and encouraged during weddings.

But, what about sons and mothers?

No matter what guys might say, they all have a soft spot for mom and actually look to be with and marry a woman that reminds them of her. There's nothing wrong with being a Momma's boy, so when it comes time to pick a song that you'll dance to with her, make it count. So many times I see Grooms leave the song choice up to the DJ, or simply say "pick whatever is popular." I say, ask your mom what song she might like - or do a little research and find one that tells a story, or details how you feel about your mom. We know you've got some warm and fuzzies in there - use 'em! Remember guys, your Bride will likely be making the majority of the decisions regarding your wedding, so when you do have the chance to make one on your own, seize the opportunity! You can pick a song that's classic, her favourite song, or one you just happen to stumble across while searching. For some help, check out this list from Huffington Post Weddings.

*Photo from Natalie & Jason's wedding, June 16th in Toronto. Taken by Angela Devries Photography.

Choosing your Master of Ceremonies

You've announced your engagement, you've set your wedding date, you've found your dress, you've ordered your cake, flowers and transportation, you've made your guest list, and now all you need to do is make it all come together on one day - one big day - one day that will be considered the most important day of your life. 

You have the starring role on that day, you're like celebrities actually. Your Wedding Planner is your Director, Producer, Stylist, Engineer and even your Therapist - but who is the Conductor? Who announces you and your wedding party and who ties all of the various elements of the evening together? Who has this honour? Your MC!

Choosing an MC is sometimes an easy task, and other times it can be daunting for the couple. Who do you know that likes to talk in front of a crowd, but isn't a class clown or major attention seeker? Who knows you well enough to be able to tell stories about you individually and as a couple? Who can work well with your Wedding Planner to ensure proper timing and execution of the many event logistics? Your MC!

Suggestions for whom to pick as MC are typically the Best Man, a close friend or a family member. To learn more about choosing and or being a Wedding MC you should read the book "The Wedding MC" by Tom Haibeck, or talk to your Wedding Planner.
Your Wedding Planner should meet your MC prior to your wedding day, most likely at the rehearsal if not before. The two of them will work together during the wedding reception in regards to timing. Almost 95% of the time the set timeline/agenda for the reception changes based on food preparation, service and consumption, guests arriving late and speeches going over or under time. Your MC should be able to 'roll with the punches' and be able to maintain a sense of professionalism (a.k.a maturity) as the night unfolds.

Your MC should have fun, and aim to keep the celebration exciting, positive and memorable. They should try to engage guests in interaction, and strive to make sure everyone is having a fabulous time.

What does an MC 'typically' do?- Requests the guests to take their seats if needed- Announces the wedding party & the Mr & Mrs.- Welcomes your guests and introducing him or her self- Toasts the couple (if desired)- Says Grace (or introduces the person saying a blessing)- Announces the dinner (in most cases only if a buffet)- Thanks the catering staff on behalf of the couple after dinner- Presents the "kissing game" to your guests- Makes jokes and announcements throughout the evening- Introduces special guests for their speeches- Announces other events throughout the evening (first dance, cutting of the cake, late night buffet, bouquet toss, etc)

As the Bride & Groom, you should meet with your MC throughout your planning process, keeping them involved and up to date with your plans, ideas and hopes for the evening. Feel free to give your MC guidelines in regards to the content they wish to share with your guests and feel free to ask them to read what they have prepared. Most Brides do not like surprises on the day they've taken months to plan to perfection. :)

Being an MC is an honour, and officially makes them part of the "Wedding Party". 

*Originally posted on The Bride's Butler Blog in 2010

20% Off = less money & less stress

Save 20% on our popular Day of Coordination services for your September, October or November wedding if you book before July 31/12.

Fall is the season that more and more Brides are choosing to say “I do.” We want you to be able to save money and stress less on your most special day.

Typically, clients will book Day of Coordination services 6-12 months prior to their wedding, but if you’ve been thinking that you can handle everything on your own up until now, then that’s okay!

We have a few Fall dates still available, so book now and save!

As your Day of Coordinator, we’re there to work for you, to make sure that your plans are executed as envisioned and that you are able to enjoy your day as a Bride and not as a Bridezilla. LOL!

We’ll meet twice prior to your wedding, chat on the phone and send many emails back and forth – all preparing you and your vendors for a spectacular day!

Let us manage your wedding party, guests and vendors. Let us set-up your décor details like your gift table, candy buffet, escort cards and centrepieces.  And let us communicate with your vendors to make sure that the services they are providing match with what you ordered.

We don’t offer a discount this large often, so do yourself a favour and hire a vendor that will work for you, have your back and make sure that you get the wedding you’ve been working so hard to plan!

The Rehearsal Dinner

Our last post focused on The Rehearsal and all that it entails, so now we’re going to chat about The Rehearsal Dinner. 

Typically hosted by the Groom’s parents, this event occurs after the rehearsal of your ceremony. This is an event that you hubby-to-be might want to be involved in a bit more, and if it’s alright by you, you should let him pick the place, type of food and if there will be a theme. For some ideas, check out this article on The Knot. 

Most couples will have a semi-formal Rehearsal Dinner at a local restaurant or even at the venue if they have on site catering or a restaurant. The dress is business casual and the atmosphere is relaxed and enjoyable. Everyone is excited, and a little nervous as they await the wedding that is about to take place. The rehearsal dinner is the best time to present your parents and wedding party with their gifts and to thank them for their support, participation and love during your engagement. If you don’t like to make grandiose speeches, take the time to chat to each person and thank them – as you likely won’t have the time or the proper thought process to do it on your actual wedding day.

Who pays for the Rehearsal Dinner? Usually the Groom’s parents, but this is quite old fashioned as it was because the Bride’s parents paid for the wedding. Nowadays, couples are paying for their own wedding, or pitching in a 1/3 with both sets of parents. So when discussing the wedding budget, be sure to factor in the Rehearsal Dinner. Work out a total and method of payment that works for all parties involved.

Be sure to have fun at your rehearsal dinner, but we advise that you keep alcohol consumption to a minimum and try to limit your salt intake. You don’t want to be dehydrated or bloated on your wedding day. Enjoy the company of your family and friends and be sure to enjoy the moment.

So, who’s invited to the Rehearsal Dinner? Parents, Grandparents, the wedding party and their significant others and your officiant (specifically if you’re a member of a church). If you have guests coming from out of town for your wedding, it’s a nice gesture to invite them to the dinner as well.

Whomever is hosting the event should send out the invites about 3 weeks prior to the wedding. It’s usually assumed that there will be a rehearsal followed by a dinner, but you should still send out a formal invite. Need some ideas? Check out these rehearsal dinner invitations by the Wedding Paper Divas.

Wishing you a fabulous time at your Rehearsal Dinner!

Gearing up for Wedding Season!

The Bride's Butler is gearing up for a busy wedding season!

We're so thrilled to be working alongside many wonderful couples this year, and assisting them with both Full Planning and Day of Coordination Services.

With permission from my clients, I'll do my best to feature their special days on the blog to share with you.
I can't wait to see all of their ideas come to life!

We kick off the season with Angie & Serge on May 26th, and continue through until September 29th with Brooke & Richard.

If you want to book with us, we're offering $200 off remaining dates in May & June.

#Weddings on Twitter

We're on Twitter (@BridesButler) and often while executing Day of Coordination Services will send out a tweet or two of the wedding. I'll include pictures, updates and usually attach a hashtag so that my followers can, well, follow along. You must know though, that I always ask my clients first if they are comfortable with it.

Just this past weekend, I saw a tweet that was an RSVP to a wedding. At first, I'll admit, I was a little concerned. As a Wedding Coordinator, I do my best to aid my clients in staying true to traditions and proper wedding etiquette, but also know that times have changed and social media is a part of almost every one's life. I say almost everyone, because there's still a generation that doesn't use it (IE: Grandparents). You may beg to differ with me here, as even seniors are hip enough to tweet, pin and post - but when it comes to weddings; especially invitations, I suggest to follow the wishes of the couple.

If the invitation includes a self-addressed envelope with a pre-paid stamp, then you should fill out the reply card and send it the good ol' fashioned way. Including these pieces in their invite states that that's how the couple wants to be communicated with. Plus, invitations are quite expensive and adding a reply card with postage is an added expense that shouldn't go to waste.

Now, as I said before, modern times are here and we all need to get on the bandwagon - so if the couple is tech savvy (or wants to eliminate the cost of the reply card) they can request that their replies are sent via email (kimandkevin@gmail.com), phone or via Twitter. If the couple uses Twitter often, they might want to create a hashtag (#KimandKevinsWedding) for any tweets concerning their big day.

If the couple has a wedding website, they can include the URL in the invite and list the ways to RSVP there.  Note though, that you should only have 2 channels in which guests can give you a yay or nay...any more and you'll likely miss a few.

So, getting back to #weddings on Twitter - you can most definitely include your wedding on the popular social site like this Groom did (pictured), but I advise that you do with caution. You should be leaving the tweeting to others, because you should be enjoying your day as Hubs and Wifey. If you want your guests to tweet during your ceremony and reception, include that info in your programs. If you're really tech savvy, have a live stream of the tweets displayed on a screen in your reception venue. Like anything that is captured, these tweets will be a good reminder of the fun everyone had. Just be careful what you tweet (and this goes for Facebook too) - have respect for the couples privacy (not everyone was invited, so not everyone need the details), be courteous to the Bride (aka, post only flattering pictures) and refrain from using profanity - a wedding after all is a formal event - not a house party.

If you don't want everyone tweeting, you can say that as well in your program. Some couples aren't showy and don't want their special day posted to the masses whether it be on Twitter or Facebook. But, if you don't mind - perhaps you can ask a close friend or family member and enlist them as your "Tweet of Honor." Check out this article for more info on what I'm referring to.

So, to sum this all up - I suggest that you ask first and or follow the given instructions. If the RSVP doesn't say tweet your response, then don't. If you still want to tweet or post your attendance anyway, ask the couple first if it'd be okay to do so. Yes, Social Media is the future but, having proper social manners is not the past. At least not yet (here's hoping!)

Happy tweeting!

Mother/Daughter wedding traditions

Many Brides want to involve their mother in as many aspects as they can during the planning process and the wedding itself. Here are a few traditional things you should add to your Mother/Daughter wedding list.

Pick out the wedding dress.

Spending quality time with your mom and picking out your wedding dress is a memory that you'll always hold onto. You can decide to just have your mom by your side for when you say "yes to the dress" or you can include a sister, best friend, aunt and even your future mother-in-law.



Picking out her dress.

Take your mom shopping and help her pick out the dress she'll wear on her wedding day. Again, this day can include an invite to your future MIL as well. A fun shopping day that may include lunch or dinner with a celebratory glass of vino is always a good thing.

Ceremony procession.

If you're mom isn't walking you down the aisle, she is the last person to take her seat before your wedding party begins the ceremony. She should be escorted to her seat by your brother or cousin. If your Bridesmaids are walking solo down the aisle, and you don't have a brother or cousin, then you can have the last Groomsman walk her down, or an usher.

Showing respect & honor.

A lot of couples incorporate their mothers (or both parents) into the ceremony. You can offer her a flower as a token of gratitude, or you can have her (or them) participate in the unity ceremony as two families are becoming one.

Also, be sure to acknowledge and thank your mother during your speech at the reception.

DIY aspects & choosing vendors.

If you're planning your wedding yourself, be sure to include your mom in some of the Do-It-Yourself aspects (a.k.a - craft night!) as well as meetings with your vendors. If she (& your dad) are paying for some or all of your wedding, it's always nice to include them in some of the decision making.


How will you include your mom into your wedding planning and special day?


*article based on tips from TLC Family

Parents of the Bride

Is you're little girl getting married?

First time wedding parents?

According to TLC Family, here are two things you must concern yourself with before your daughter says

"I do":

Finances

Weddings can be expensive. Traditionally, the Bride's parents would host and pay for the wedding, but nowadays you'll often see both sets of parents contributing as well as the Bride & Groom.

Chat with your daughter and future son-in-law and discuss who will pay for what. Will each party give the same amount (i.e: $10,000) or will you pay for specific parts of the wedding like the reception?
It's also customary that the Bride's parents pay for her wedding dress and alterations.

Sounds like a lot of money being spent, right? It is. Be prepared by saving a little each month for as long as you can (some parents start this when she's just a kid). Open a savings account and dedicate it to your contribution to her wedding.

The future-in-laws

Not only should you take time to get to know your future son-in-law (if you don't already know him that well), but you should also get to know his parents. Once your daughter is engaged, invite her fiance's parents over for tea, lunch or dinner. This is a great way to celebrate the happy news and for you to meet (if you haven't yet) and spend time with them.

His parents will be a part of your daughter's new life with her hubby, so it's best if you like them, or at the very least get along with them. Building a relationship with the future-in-laws may save face later as life rolls on when it comes to dividing time for holidays and celebrations.

Check out the article here for TLC's list of the 5 things you should do to prepare.

Playing games at your wedding

Everyone likes games, and what better time to play some then at your wedding?

Typically hosted by the MC or DJ, wedding games are planned to get the guests interacting with one another, the wedding party and with the Bride & Groom.

The most popular game you'll see at a wedding is the "kissing" game. There are all kinds of ways to get the Bride & Groom to kiss other than the typical clinking of the glasses. I've seen a mass game of scrabble, a spin wheel similar to Wheel of Fortune and trivia about the newlyweds.

I've also seen "Photo Scavenger Hunts" at weddings. This is the game where the Bride & Groom have left disposable cameras on each table with a list of images that must be captured. Think about all the things that can be witnessed at a wedding; first dance, toast to the couple, sleeping flower girl, drunken groomsmen...the list goes on.

Another game that I personally like to watch, but think that it's risky to play is the game where the Bride & Groom swap shoes and answer questions about one another. "Who is most likely to snore?" "Who said 'I love you' first?" This game is very amusing to watch, and the questions can sometimes get quite personal and risque, therefor, I sometimes cringe when this game is played. I'm a big believer that you shouldn't embarrass the happy couple on their special day - and this game might just do that.

What kind of games have you played at weddings? Games are fun, and get people laughing. Be sure to play some on your special day.

What do you love about weddings?

Someone asked me the other day why I love weddings. There isn't just one thing, but many. And it's not so much about the things as to why I love weddings, but more of how weddings make me feel. Weddings are about two people in love proclaiming their love and commitment to one another. They're about promises, hopes and dreams. What I love about weddings is in actuality, the love.

But, aside from the feeling and all the mush - I love other things about weddings too. Like, the atmosphere - all of the fine details coming together to form one big picture. If done right, your guests will walk into your reception and will smile, gasp or even laugh at all of the personalization and details you've worked so hard to bring to life on your special day.

What I love about weddings is the coming together of family and friends. Hearing the laughter during the speeches, seeing the tears being wiped away as the couple says "I do" and watching everyone get down and boogie on the dance floor! What I love about weddings are seeing the Bridesmaids care for the blushing Bride - making sure her hair is just so, and that she's comfortable and having a good time. I love to see the Groomsmen bonding with their buddy, the Groom. Watching them clink their beer bottles, pat him on the back and simply smile at him as he smiles at his Bride.

There are many things that I love about weddings. What do you love about them? Do they remind you of how lucky you are to have found your life partner, or do they provide you with hope for love that has yet to come? Do they make you smile, laugh and dance? Weddings are a beautiful thing. There's a reason why this tradition is still around to this day...weddings make people feel good.

"We gotta talk...."

No one likes hearing the words, "we gotta talk..." Usually those words are interpreted as trouble - but let me tell you, if you don't have this talk, you may very well have trouble - in your marriage.

Weddings are fantastic - they are fun, full of love and laughter and are really truly just one big party to proclaim your love and adoration for one another. What comes after the wedding is a marriage - and that is meant to last the rest of your life. So even though you are doing so much planning for your wedding, be sure to slot in some time to plan for your marriage as well.

I came across this article the other day on the Canadian Living website - "10 things to talk about before you get married" and think that all couples should have this chat prior to tying the knot.

Here are the 10 things that they say you should talk about:

1) Decision making.
What is important to you both and what is your communication style. It needs to work for both of you - and a little compromise goes a long way.

2) Chore & task sharing.
Responsibilities. Do you take care of the bill payments, but he does all the yard work? Do you do the laundry and he takes out the trash? Having a game plan for your life tasks and duties will help keep the arguments at bay.

3) Kids.
To have or not to have, that is the question.

4) Religion & values.
Do you share the same values, goals and beliefs? This question will also impact #3.

5) Family.
You can pick your friends but not your family. However, you've picked your partner, so remember that when it comes to family politics and dramatics. Chat about how much time you plan to spend with each others family, especially for holidays, birthdays and whatnot.

6) Careers.
Are you both established in your careers, or will you want a change in the future? Do one of you have to travel a lot for work? Will you relocate?

7) Sex.
You've gotta talk about your wants and desires in this category too. Life brings on different situations and stress levels, so you've got to let your partner know that intimacy is important to you no matter what. Also, I'd use this time to inform them of your thoughts on open-relationships and affairs if you haven't already done so.

8) Finances.
Money can cause a lot of issues for couples - especially when one makes more than the other. As a married couple, you need to decide if you will have a joint bank account, or keep your assets separate. How will you save for the future, and how do you plan on spending your earnings together? Trips, kids, etc.

9) Time together and apart.
You still need to have your girls nights and 'me time' even though you are going to be a Mrs.
Be sure to talk to your man about what both of your expectations about free time are. A lot of time this is where resentment starts - when you feel alone in your relationship because your partner doesn't spend their free time with you. We want to avoid this, have the talk.

10) Drugs, alcohol and gambling.
How do you both feel about these? Can you partake but in a healthy manner? Are there issues with one of these already present in your relationship?

So, have the talk with your partner. I suggest not to have it all at once, unless you have a few hours to invest in it. But, discussing your views on these 10 things will prepare you for your life ahead with this person. It will also act like a refresher for those of you that have been together for a long time and might have talked about some of these things earlier on in your relationship. Maybe your views have changed, and that's okay. People change and grow as they go through life - it's just that with a marriage, you are to change and grow together.

Good luck!

*the list was comprised from the article featured on Canadian Living, however the comments below each headline are my own opinions.

RSVP No Shows

I've seen it a few times - guests RSVP to the wedding and then are no shows. This is not only poor etiquette, but it adds extra stress for the Bride & Groom.

When you are invited to a wedding and you RSVP "yes", be sure to show up. Unless an emergency arises (family death, illness or severe weather) you should honour your word and attend.

What happens when guests are a no show? Well, firstly food and money go to waste. 99% of weddings, the couple have to pay upfront for meals ordered - this includes quantity of appetizers and plate settings. Also, the couple have ordered their cake and or dessert/late night table based on the number of RSVP's they received. So if there are no shows, there is food and money wasted.

How do no shows add extra stress for the couple (and or their Wedding Coordinator)? The venue is set up and arranged for a specific number of people and with no shows - there can be gaps in the seating arrangements. Someone I know, recently went to a wedding and 2 couples from a table of 6 were no shows - leaving 4 empty chairs. Due to another couple at a different table not showing as well, there were 2 seats available to which they could fill leaving one table completely empty and another entirely full.
But that's good then right? Not really - there is now one empty table, and 6 paid for meals that won't be eaten. But, having an entire table empty is better than having one large table with only 2 people seated at it. The venue staff or your Coordinator can discreetly remove the dishware so that it doesn't look like the table is still awaiting guests.

So - what do you do if you are the guest who is a no show? You should call the Bride or Groom and leave a voicemail as to why you can't attend. If you know someone else who is attending the wedding and you don't want to call the Bride or Groom, relay your message to them so they can give your regards. You should also send a hand written note or email to the couple informing them that you hoped they enjoyed their celebration. As for the gift? If you're invited to a wedding and you RSVP "yes" but don't go - you should still give a gift. Mail a card with a cheque, or drop off the card and or gift in person. But, let me stress this - you must extend a gift and a sincere apology for your absence.

No one likes no shows. If you say you're going to attend a wedding, then do. Weddings are a celebration of two people who wanted you to be a part of it. It's always an honour to be invited to a wedding - and it would be an honor to the couple if you attended.


*Invitation designed by Jolie Papeterie Boutique