The First Look

Most Brides see their Groom for the first time on their wedding day as they walked down the aisle, but now that's not always the case. Many couples are choosing to have a "First Look" to ease their nerves and spend more time together on their big day.

Sometimes the Bride wants to keep the tradition alive of her future hubby not seeing her until she's escorted down the aisle so she asks her Groom to face his back to her so she can simply touch him and talk to him without him seeing her, or sometimes the Groom gets blindfolded.

Past clients of ours, Leigh and Derek met in the hallway of the hotel they were getting ready at prior to their ceremony to hold hands and exchange gifts. They didn't look at one another, but being able to connect before they said "I do" helped these two connect and feel at ease.

A lot of couples are choosing to have their photos done prior to the ceremony as well. This allows for more time as time is usually somewhat limited between the ceremony and reception. Also, this enables the everyone, especially the Bride to have a fresh look as their make-up was recently applied and they likely haven't shed many tears yet.

First Looks have become more popular and more acceptable the past few years. I think they are a great idea if time allows. But, if you do stick to tradition and wait to see your Groom until you walk down the aisle, check out this slide show that has some things Grooms thought/felt when they saw their Bride for the first time.
Are you planning on having a First Look? 

How to deal with unruly guests

Unruly guests can be like this person, or these people. They are the guests that make you anxious about inviting them to your wedding. You want your day to be perfect, so having a drunk guest fall into your cake, or a baby crying throughout your vows or a co-worker kissing your divorced Dad is all situations you want to avoid.

So, how can you deal with unruly guests?

1. Be smart when planning your guest list as discussed in our last post.

2. Have plenty of food to keep empty stomachs from getting intoxicated too quickly.

3. Close the bar during dinner to reduce the amount of alcohol consumed in a short amount of time.

4. Have water available during cocktail hour to hydrate guests during a summer wedding.

5.Present kids will goody bags filled with coloring books, puzzles and such to keep them occupied during your ceremony, dinner and speeches.

6. Ask your Hubby-to-be to have a chat with his unruly guests - his guests are typically the Class Clowns and Party Animals. They've likely been high school or college friends for years, so he's the best person to ask them to stay in line.

7. Tell your Wedding Coordinator about difficult guests. Give them info about family dynamics and who to be on the look out for. We can come in handy as a mediator when we need to.

8. Plan your seating chart accordingly. It's best not to sit all of the heavy drinkers/party animals together - they will feed off one another and be the loud and unruly table. Let them organically find each other on the dance floor.

9. Chat with your family members and parents about troubled guests like the slutty cousin, divorced grandparents, etc. Family matters can interfere weddings, so it's best to tip it in the bud.

Did these tips help? How do you plan on dealing with unruly guests?

Who shouldn't make the list?

Did you read the last post about a guest that took part in an inappropriate activity over the main course at a wedding? Check it out here if you missed it.

In today's post we'll talk about what you can do as a Bride or Groom planning your guest list and the kind of guests you might ask yourself, "Should they make the list?"

The first thing you can do when making your list is to only invite friends, family, co-workers and such that you know and trust. Sure you want to invite your old elementary school friend, or the kid you grew up next door to, but if you don't really know these people now - don't invite them. People change, and you don't want to be surprised (or disappointed) with how they turned out on your most special day.

Now, no one is perfect - we know this, but you have to be realistic while planning your wedding. When we say realistic we mean by setting a manageable budget, maintaining your expectations and knowing what kind of personality and behaviors your guests have. When creating your guest list keep these types of guests in mind:

The Class Clown. This is the guy with no filter and thinks his sense of humor is oh-so-hilarious. He can sometimes be brash, hurtful and immature. Do not let the class clown give a speech - unless of course he's the Best Man then you might want to have someone, like your coordinator review it before he releases the ghosts in your Grooms closet.

Troubled Guests. Troubled can mean whatever you want it to depending on your level of comfort, values, culture or religion. This could be guests suffering from depression, going through a divorce, has an overly negative outlook or are into drugs/crime.

The Party Animal. Sometimes the Class Clown is this person as well. Typically the Party Animal drinks a lot. Your guests are going to drink, and some will get intoxicated, but if you're inviting someone who drinks heavily, binges or outright has a drinking problem - beware.

The Slut. I hate to say it, but almost everyone knows one. You know, she's the girl that will wear a dress shorter than short, and will make it her mission to hook up on your wedding night. Casual flirtation is welcome at weddings and a lot of times people do hook up at weddings and end up dating and sometimes even get married themselves, but look out for the slut. When building your guest list and adding her name do you immediate picture her making out in the corner with your adorable cousin? If you answered yes, perhaps you can invite her to the Bachelorette, but skip the wedding invite.

The Ex. Do not invite your ex or your Grooms ex to your wedding. Unless of course you're that one off couple that married your ex's sister/brother. Past loves should stay in the past. 

The New Parents. Some people don't want to have kids at their wedding and that's just fine, but beware that some guests, specifically new parents who might feel slighted that you didn't include little Bobby in the invite. If you're worried about some guests bringing their children, be sure to state on the invite that it's a celebration for adults only. And if you need to, sit down with your friend who's a parent and explain to them that you'd love to spend time with them and their kid(s), just not on your wedding day.

Weddings are about celebrating with family and friends and we know that you won't be able to totally avoid inviting some of these characters - so next post we'll discuss how to deal with unruly guests. Stay tuned!

Are you THAT guest?!

Over the past 5 years of coordinating weddings, I've seen some pretty interesting and sometimes embarrassing behavior from guests and wedding party members. There's been a few times I've cringed while the Best Man gave his speech (or rather a roast to the Groom). I've shaken my head in disbelief at conversations overheard in the lobby or the bathroom, and I've looked on in awe at how alcohol makes people think they're as good of a dancer as Michael Jackson in his Thriller days.

Now don't get me wrong - weddings are meant to be fun - a celebration in honor of two people in love. I'm all for everyone having a good time, for that's why the Bride & Groom are hosting such a fete. But, let's remember that some people look at weddings like they would a nightclub, or a high school prom. Depending on the type of guests that are in attendance, things can sometimes get a little wild.

As I said, I've witnessed some crazy things from guests while coordinating weddings, and thankfully none have been overly inappropriate. A few weeks ago I heard a story from a pair of friends that are newlyweds, and I hope to never ever encounter what one of their guests did! Without crossing any lines, I'll let you use your imagination with this one....a female guest in a dress brought a random guy as her date and while it's proper etiquette to not have your elbows on the table during dinner, this guy took it to another level and didn't have his hands visible during the main course. So to say the least, he skipped the main and went straight for dessert. Thankfully the Bride & Groom didn't serve Tiramisu which is made with 'lady fingers'. BAH!

So when attending a wedding, ask yourself - do you want to be THAT guest that people talk about over brunch the next day - or even weeks, months and years after the wedding? Dress appropriately, don't conduct lewd acts in public, pace yourself when drinking and just be mindful of your actions. Have a good time, share some laughs, flirt a little and party, but do yourself a favor and don't be THAT guest.

Momma's Boy

As a daughter, you're most likely the apple of your father's eye. You're daddy's little girl, and we dig that. Daddy is the first man a girl ever loves and trusts. So, on your wedding day he will walk you down the aisle, give you away to your Groom, and have a dance with you. All that good gooey father/daughter stuff is welcomed and encouraged during weddings.

But, what about sons and mothers?

No matter what guys might say, they all have a soft spot for mom and actually look to be with and marry a woman that reminds them of her. There's nothing wrong with being a Momma's boy, so when it comes time to pick a song that you'll dance to with her, make it count. So many times I see Grooms leave the song choice up to the DJ, or simply say "pick whatever is popular." I say, ask your mom what song she might like - or do a little research and find one that tells a story, or details how you feel about your mom. We know you've got some warm and fuzzies in there - use 'em! Remember guys, your Bride will likely be making the majority of the decisions regarding your wedding, so when you do have the chance to make one on your own, seize the opportunity! You can pick a song that's classic, her favourite song, or one you just happen to stumble across while searching. For some help, check out this list from Huffington Post Weddings.

*Photo from Natalie & Jason's wedding, June 16th in Toronto. Taken by Angela Devries Photography.

Choosing your Master of Ceremonies

You've announced your engagement, you've set your wedding date, you've found your dress, you've ordered your cake, flowers and transportation, you've made your guest list, and now all you need to do is make it all come together on one day - one big day - one day that will be considered the most important day of your life. 

You have the starring role on that day, you're like celebrities actually. Your Wedding Planner is your Director, Producer, Stylist, Engineer and even your Therapist - but who is the Conductor? Who announces you and your wedding party and who ties all of the various elements of the evening together? Who has this honour? Your MC!

Choosing an MC is sometimes an easy task, and other times it can be daunting for the couple. Who do you know that likes to talk in front of a crowd, but isn't a class clown or major attention seeker? Who knows you well enough to be able to tell stories about you individually and as a couple? Who can work well with your Wedding Planner to ensure proper timing and execution of the many event logistics? Your MC!

Suggestions for whom to pick as MC are typically the Best Man, a close friend or a family member. To learn more about choosing and or being a Wedding MC you should read the book "The Wedding MC" by Tom Haibeck, or talk to your Wedding Planner.
Your Wedding Planner should meet your MC prior to your wedding day, most likely at the rehearsal if not before. The two of them will work together during the wedding reception in regards to timing. Almost 95% of the time the set timeline/agenda for the reception changes based on food preparation, service and consumption, guests arriving late and speeches going over or under time. Your MC should be able to 'roll with the punches' and be able to maintain a sense of professionalism (a.k.a maturity) as the night unfolds.

Your MC should have fun, and aim to keep the celebration exciting, positive and memorable. They should try to engage guests in interaction, and strive to make sure everyone is having a fabulous time.

What does an MC 'typically' do?- Requests the guests to take their seats if needed- Announces the wedding party & the Mr & Mrs.- Welcomes your guests and introducing him or her self- Toasts the couple (if desired)- Says Grace (or introduces the person saying a blessing)- Announces the dinner (in most cases only if a buffet)- Thanks the catering staff on behalf of the couple after dinner- Presents the "kissing game" to your guests- Makes jokes and announcements throughout the evening- Introduces special guests for their speeches- Announces other events throughout the evening (first dance, cutting of the cake, late night buffet, bouquet toss, etc)

As the Bride & Groom, you should meet with your MC throughout your planning process, keeping them involved and up to date with your plans, ideas and hopes for the evening. Feel free to give your MC guidelines in regards to the content they wish to share with your guests and feel free to ask them to read what they have prepared. Most Brides do not like surprises on the day they've taken months to plan to perfection. :)

Being an MC is an honour, and officially makes them part of the "Wedding Party". 

*Originally posted on The Bride's Butler Blog in 2010

The Rehearsal Dinner

Our last post focused on The Rehearsal and all that it entails, so now we’re going to chat about The Rehearsal Dinner. 

Typically hosted by the Groom’s parents, this event occurs after the rehearsal of your ceremony. This is an event that you hubby-to-be might want to be involved in a bit more, and if it’s alright by you, you should let him pick the place, type of food and if there will be a theme. For some ideas, check out this article on The Knot. 

Most couples will have a semi-formal Rehearsal Dinner at a local restaurant or even at the venue if they have on site catering or a restaurant. The dress is business casual and the atmosphere is relaxed and enjoyable. Everyone is excited, and a little nervous as they await the wedding that is about to take place. The rehearsal dinner is the best time to present your parents and wedding party with their gifts and to thank them for their support, participation and love during your engagement. If you don’t like to make grandiose speeches, take the time to chat to each person and thank them – as you likely won’t have the time or the proper thought process to do it on your actual wedding day.

Who pays for the Rehearsal Dinner? Usually the Groom’s parents, but this is quite old fashioned as it was because the Bride’s parents paid for the wedding. Nowadays, couples are paying for their own wedding, or pitching in a 1/3 with both sets of parents. So when discussing the wedding budget, be sure to factor in the Rehearsal Dinner. Work out a total and method of payment that works for all parties involved.

Be sure to have fun at your rehearsal dinner, but we advise that you keep alcohol consumption to a minimum and try to limit your salt intake. You don’t want to be dehydrated or bloated on your wedding day. Enjoy the company of your family and friends and be sure to enjoy the moment.

So, who’s invited to the Rehearsal Dinner? Parents, Grandparents, the wedding party and their significant others and your officiant (specifically if you’re a member of a church). If you have guests coming from out of town for your wedding, it’s a nice gesture to invite them to the dinner as well.

Whomever is hosting the event should send out the invites about 3 weeks prior to the wedding. It’s usually assumed that there will be a rehearsal followed by a dinner, but you should still send out a formal invite. Need some ideas? Check out these rehearsal dinner invitations by the Wedding Paper Divas.

Wishing you a fabulous time at your Rehearsal Dinner!

#Weddings on Twitter

We're on Twitter (@BridesButler) and often while executing Day of Coordination Services will send out a tweet or two of the wedding. I'll include pictures, updates and usually attach a hashtag so that my followers can, well, follow along. You must know though, that I always ask my clients first if they are comfortable with it.

Just this past weekend, I saw a tweet that was an RSVP to a wedding. At first, I'll admit, I was a little concerned. As a Wedding Coordinator, I do my best to aid my clients in staying true to traditions and proper wedding etiquette, but also know that times have changed and social media is a part of almost every one's life. I say almost everyone, because there's still a generation that doesn't use it (IE: Grandparents). You may beg to differ with me here, as even seniors are hip enough to tweet, pin and post - but when it comes to weddings; especially invitations, I suggest to follow the wishes of the couple.

If the invitation includes a self-addressed envelope with a pre-paid stamp, then you should fill out the reply card and send it the good ol' fashioned way. Including these pieces in their invite states that that's how the couple wants to be communicated with. Plus, invitations are quite expensive and adding a reply card with postage is an added expense that shouldn't go to waste.

Now, as I said before, modern times are here and we all need to get on the bandwagon - so if the couple is tech savvy (or wants to eliminate the cost of the reply card) they can request that their replies are sent via email (kimandkevin@gmail.com), phone or via Twitter. If the couple uses Twitter often, they might want to create a hashtag (#KimandKevinsWedding) for any tweets concerning their big day.

If the couple has a wedding website, they can include the URL in the invite and list the ways to RSVP there.  Note though, that you should only have 2 channels in which guests can give you a yay or nay...any more and you'll likely miss a few.

So, getting back to #weddings on Twitter - you can most definitely include your wedding on the popular social site like this Groom did (pictured), but I advise that you do with caution. You should be leaving the tweeting to others, because you should be enjoying your day as Hubs and Wifey. If you want your guests to tweet during your ceremony and reception, include that info in your programs. If you're really tech savvy, have a live stream of the tweets displayed on a screen in your reception venue. Like anything that is captured, these tweets will be a good reminder of the fun everyone had. Just be careful what you tweet (and this goes for Facebook too) - have respect for the couples privacy (not everyone was invited, so not everyone need the details), be courteous to the Bride (aka, post only flattering pictures) and refrain from using profanity - a wedding after all is a formal event - not a house party.

If you don't want everyone tweeting, you can say that as well in your program. Some couples aren't showy and don't want their special day posted to the masses whether it be on Twitter or Facebook. But, if you don't mind - perhaps you can ask a close friend or family member and enlist them as your "Tweet of Honor." Check out this article for more info on what I'm referring to.

So, to sum this all up - I suggest that you ask first and or follow the given instructions. If the RSVP doesn't say tweet your response, then don't. If you still want to tweet or post your attendance anyway, ask the couple first if it'd be okay to do so. Yes, Social Media is the future but, having proper social manners is not the past. At least not yet (here's hoping!)

Happy tweeting!

Playing games at your wedding

Everyone likes games, and what better time to play some then at your wedding?

Typically hosted by the MC or DJ, wedding games are planned to get the guests interacting with one another, the wedding party and with the Bride & Groom.

The most popular game you'll see at a wedding is the "kissing" game. There are all kinds of ways to get the Bride & Groom to kiss other than the typical clinking of the glasses. I've seen a mass game of scrabble, a spin wheel similar to Wheel of Fortune and trivia about the newlyweds.

I've also seen "Photo Scavenger Hunts" at weddings. This is the game where the Bride & Groom have left disposable cameras on each table with a list of images that must be captured. Think about all the things that can be witnessed at a wedding; first dance, toast to the couple, sleeping flower girl, drunken groomsmen...the list goes on.

Another game that I personally like to watch, but think that it's risky to play is the game where the Bride & Groom swap shoes and answer questions about one another. "Who is most likely to snore?" "Who said 'I love you' first?" This game is very amusing to watch, and the questions can sometimes get quite personal and risque, therefor, I sometimes cringe when this game is played. I'm a big believer that you shouldn't embarrass the happy couple on their special day - and this game might just do that.

What kind of games have you played at weddings? Games are fun, and get people laughing. Be sure to play some on your special day.

What do you love about weddings?

Someone asked me the other day why I love weddings. There isn't just one thing, but many. And it's not so much about the things as to why I love weddings, but more of how weddings make me feel. Weddings are about two people in love proclaiming their love and commitment to one another. They're about promises, hopes and dreams. What I love about weddings is in actuality, the love.

But, aside from the feeling and all the mush - I love other things about weddings too. Like, the atmosphere - all of the fine details coming together to form one big picture. If done right, your guests will walk into your reception and will smile, gasp or even laugh at all of the personalization and details you've worked so hard to bring to life on your special day.

What I love about weddings is the coming together of family and friends. Hearing the laughter during the speeches, seeing the tears being wiped away as the couple says "I do" and watching everyone get down and boogie on the dance floor! What I love about weddings are seeing the Bridesmaids care for the blushing Bride - making sure her hair is just so, and that she's comfortable and having a good time. I love to see the Groomsmen bonding with their buddy, the Groom. Watching them clink their beer bottles, pat him on the back and simply smile at him as he smiles at his Bride.

There are many things that I love about weddings. What do you love about them? Do they remind you of how lucky you are to have found your life partner, or do they provide you with hope for love that has yet to come? Do they make you smile, laugh and dance? Weddings are a beautiful thing. There's a reason why this tradition is still around to this day...weddings make people feel good.

"We gotta talk...."

No one likes hearing the words, "we gotta talk..." Usually those words are interpreted as trouble - but let me tell you, if you don't have this talk, you may very well have trouble - in your marriage.

Weddings are fantastic - they are fun, full of love and laughter and are really truly just one big party to proclaim your love and adoration for one another. What comes after the wedding is a marriage - and that is meant to last the rest of your life. So even though you are doing so much planning for your wedding, be sure to slot in some time to plan for your marriage as well.

I came across this article the other day on the Canadian Living website - "10 things to talk about before you get married" and think that all couples should have this chat prior to tying the knot.

Here are the 10 things that they say you should talk about:

1) Decision making.
What is important to you both and what is your communication style. It needs to work for both of you - and a little compromise goes a long way.

2) Chore & task sharing.
Responsibilities. Do you take care of the bill payments, but he does all the yard work? Do you do the laundry and he takes out the trash? Having a game plan for your life tasks and duties will help keep the arguments at bay.

3) Kids.
To have or not to have, that is the question.

4) Religion & values.
Do you share the same values, goals and beliefs? This question will also impact #3.

5) Family.
You can pick your friends but not your family. However, you've picked your partner, so remember that when it comes to family politics and dramatics. Chat about how much time you plan to spend with each others family, especially for holidays, birthdays and whatnot.

6) Careers.
Are you both established in your careers, or will you want a change in the future? Do one of you have to travel a lot for work? Will you relocate?

7) Sex.
You've gotta talk about your wants and desires in this category too. Life brings on different situations and stress levels, so you've got to let your partner know that intimacy is important to you no matter what. Also, I'd use this time to inform them of your thoughts on open-relationships and affairs if you haven't already done so.

8) Finances.
Money can cause a lot of issues for couples - especially when one makes more than the other. As a married couple, you need to decide if you will have a joint bank account, or keep your assets separate. How will you save for the future, and how do you plan on spending your earnings together? Trips, kids, etc.

9) Time together and apart.
You still need to have your girls nights and 'me time' even though you are going to be a Mrs.
Be sure to talk to your man about what both of your expectations about free time are. A lot of time this is where resentment starts - when you feel alone in your relationship because your partner doesn't spend their free time with you. We want to avoid this, have the talk.

10) Drugs, alcohol and gambling.
How do you both feel about these? Can you partake but in a healthy manner? Are there issues with one of these already present in your relationship?

So, have the talk with your partner. I suggest not to have it all at once, unless you have a few hours to invest in it. But, discussing your views on these 10 things will prepare you for your life ahead with this person. It will also act like a refresher for those of you that have been together for a long time and might have talked about some of these things earlier on in your relationship. Maybe your views have changed, and that's okay. People change and grow as they go through life - it's just that with a marriage, you are to change and grow together.

Good luck!

*the list was comprised from the article featured on Canadian Living, however the comments below each headline are my own opinions.

RSVP No Shows

I've seen it a few times - guests RSVP to the wedding and then are no shows. This is not only poor etiquette, but it adds extra stress for the Bride & Groom.

When you are invited to a wedding and you RSVP "yes", be sure to show up. Unless an emergency arises (family death, illness or severe weather) you should honour your word and attend.

What happens when guests are a no show? Well, firstly food and money go to waste. 99% of weddings, the couple have to pay upfront for meals ordered - this includes quantity of appetizers and plate settings. Also, the couple have ordered their cake and or dessert/late night table based on the number of RSVP's they received. So if there are no shows, there is food and money wasted.

How do no shows add extra stress for the couple (and or their Wedding Coordinator)? The venue is set up and arranged for a specific number of people and with no shows - there can be gaps in the seating arrangements. Someone I know, recently went to a wedding and 2 couples from a table of 6 were no shows - leaving 4 empty chairs. Due to another couple at a different table not showing as well, there were 2 seats available to which they could fill leaving one table completely empty and another entirely full.
But that's good then right? Not really - there is now one empty table, and 6 paid for meals that won't be eaten. But, having an entire table empty is better than having one large table with only 2 people seated at it. The venue staff or your Coordinator can discreetly remove the dishware so that it doesn't look like the table is still awaiting guests.

So - what do you do if you are the guest who is a no show? You should call the Bride or Groom and leave a voicemail as to why you can't attend. If you know someone else who is attending the wedding and you don't want to call the Bride or Groom, relay your message to them so they can give your regards. You should also send a hand written note or email to the couple informing them that you hoped they enjoyed their celebration. As for the gift? If you're invited to a wedding and you RSVP "yes" but don't go - you should still give a gift. Mail a card with a cheque, or drop off the card and or gift in person. But, let me stress this - you must extend a gift and a sincere apology for your absence.

No one likes no shows. If you say you're going to attend a wedding, then do. Weddings are a celebration of two people who wanted you to be a part of it. It's always an honour to be invited to a wedding - and it would be an honor to the couple if you attended.


*Invitation designed by Jolie Papeterie Boutique

Let's hear it for the boys!

Boys will be boys....there's no doubt about it. You may think that your Groom is totally into planning the wedding with you - and he might be, maybe. But I bet you, he's just enjoying seeing you happy planning the wedding of your dreams. What he's really looking forward to (besides being your Hubs of course) is the Stag...or Bachelor Party.

As his wife-to-be, you should understand and respect that your man and his buds will want a night out to celebrate. Getting married is not always all about the Bride despite popular belief.
Sorry ladies.

This Labour Day weekend I was at Darien Lake for a concert and saw this wedding party out celebrating the Groom. They were having a great time - good, clean fun. Not all Bachelor Parties are what we think they are - there's no need for them all to be like the Hangover movie.

Many clients of mine have opted to have a Bachelor Party that's tailored to them and their likes/hobbies, and less to what's expected.

Typically the Best Man plans and hosts the event, but oftentimes the Groom will be involved.

Maybe Groomie wants to go golfing and end the day with a steak dinner, or maybe he wants to go skydiving because he knows you'll never do it with him, or maybe he just wants to have a poker night with some pals. No matter what your fiance wants to do, this is his "last hurrah" per say. Let's let him enjoy it.

If he and his wedding party are unsure what to do - they should head on over to TheManRegistry.com and The Groom Says for guy advice, tips and ideas. Or maybe he knows exactly how he wants to party and all he needs to do is get himself and his wedding party some t-shirts.

Grooms are people too

This may come as a shocker, but....it's not all about the Bride.

It's known that the Bride tends to make most if not all of the decisions for the wedding, but the Wedding Industry is saying that Grooms are going to be speaking out more in 2011 and making more decisions.Your wedding day is afterall for both you and your Groom.

With blogs and websites like Ben the Groom, The Plunge and The Man Registry - guys have a place they can go to for advice, funny stories and even some educational content concerning their title as the "Groom".

Ben the Groom offers a checklist that offers "to-do's" from your Engagement to the night before your wedding. Knowing what to do before you are told to do it will make you look like an All-Star to your Bride.

The Plunge gives you a guys perspective and tips to prepare you for taking 'the plunge' into married life. From "How to: Replace a fallen Groomsman" to "Making a good impression with the In-laws" this site is a must for Grooms.

The Man Registry is an American site so you won't find local Canadian vendors there, but you will get awesome ideas for Bachelor parties and gifts for your wedding party dudes.

In 2010, Groom cakes made a bit of a comeback and I bet you'll continue to see more of them in weddings to come so that the Groom has something special to call his own. These cakes are usually personalized for the Groom with his hobbies, favourite sports team, movie or musician.

So, let's hear it for the boys and take joy in the fact that if you have a Groom that wants to participate and make decisions concerning your wedding and festivities - let him. Just be sure he doesn't get carried away and become a Groomzilla.

Congrats Helen & Jason!

Helen & Jason tied the knot in a romantic ceremony at Webster's Falls on October 16th, 2010.

They contacted us back in February to secure our services for their rehearsal and ceremony. With the ceremony taking place outside, they wanted to make sure that someone was dedicated to coordinating the afternoon. From placing the chairs, setting up the shepard's hooks with flower baskets, coordinating the Officiant & Musicians, receiving the flower delivery and assisting the wedding party - we were on-site ensuring the location was ready for their "I do's".

Helen & Jason were the most laid-back couple I've had the pleasure to work with - it was such a joy to be  a part of their special day. Helping me out on Oct 16th was Amanda, she's looking to get involved further in Wedding Planning and I hope that assisting me brought her further motivation to stay on the path she's currently on. Her help was very much appreciated.

Like most weddings I coordinate, I shed a tear (or two) when the Bride is about to walk down the aisle - and Helen was no exception. As she walked along the pathway towards the giant willow tree arm in arm with her Dad I couldn't help but smile - but then the 2 of them linked up with her Mother who was waiting at the top of the aisle and that's when I teared up.

The weather was beautiful - they couldn't have planned it better for an outdoor ceremony! Their reception site, Dundas Valley Golf & Curling Club also looked fabulous as we got to see it before we completed our services for the day.

Thanks again to Helen & Jason for including us in your most special day - and once again, CONGRATS!

Surprise...it's a wedding!

We were on-site for Alexis and Kevin's SURPRISE wedding! It all took place at Swing Restaraunt at Lochness Links in Welland on October 10th.

How did they pull off a surprise???

Alexis and Kevin have been together for a while and wanted as little fuss as possible to surround their planning process. In February I met with Alexis to hear about her idea and I was instantly intriqued and wanted to be a part of this event. In the months leading up to her big day she sourced vendors and made all the plans herself - all the while telling people she was planning a surprise 35th birthday party for Kevin.

It wasn't until 3 weeks before their wedding that they informed their mothers and siblings - and it wasn't until the morning of October 10th that friends were asked to be in the wedding party! They kept everything a secret (well, except from me and the other vendors hired) - and they pulled it off!!!

Here's how it all went down....

• Alexis & Kevin got engaged and wanted a different wedding that wouldn't be filled with "but you know", or "I had/ I did" or "you should/ I would"...they wanted a wedding their way and without all the fuss of showers and stags.
• Alexis realized that she couldn't execute this event on her own, so she hired us for Day of Coordination.We help 'you' be at 2 places at once.
• Vendors were hired (Venue, DJ, Photographer, Officiant, Florist, Baker & a Band)
• Multiple meetings were had - with Alexis & I - and with Alexis, Kevin, myself, my Assistant & Adam from Swing Restaruant - we planned, we coordinated and we hoped that their secret stayed a secret.
• Email invites went out to their guests "You're invited to Kevin's 35th Birthday Party" - rsvp's came in.
• Phone calls and texts were had leading up to the big day - some changes made to timeline, plans, etc

And then, it' was the day of....

Kevin's friends think they are taking him to Toronto for the day as a 'party' decoy - they arrive at his house to be told "today is my wedding boys, suit up!"

Alexis is at The Keefer Mansion getting ready with her Mom, sister and friends.

She looked beautiful, don't you think?

My Assistant Samantha and I stopped in with Alexis to see how she was doing and to get the Marriage Licence and other final documents. We then headed over to Swing to set up for the event. We placed centrepieces out. We made sure the Vanity Care baskets were in the washrooms. We made sure everything was were it was meant to be placed/set-up and that the Chocolate Bar was displayed according to Alexis' plans.

The Chocolate Bar was a replacement for a Wedding (or should I say, Birthday) cake. I think that it was a fabulous idea and since the couple love chocolate, it was a perfect detail for their special day!

Flowers arrived, cupcakes arrived, the DJ came, and so did the Band. The Officiant showed up - and all we had to do was wait for the Bride & Groom.

It was pretty funny to see guests arrive in semi- formal and casual clothes bearing birthday presents for Kevin. Some people were whispering and wondering if something was up, but Samantha, myself, the rest of the vendors and the Swing staff kept the story straight - it was Kevin's birthday party.

When the Bride & Groom and wedding party arrived, I met them outside while Samantha told the Officiant that it was 'show time'. Howard, their Officiant made an announcement that "the guest of honour" had arrived and then.....SURPRISE!..and in walked Kevin & Alexis hand-in-hand in their tux and gown! Guests were shocked, but everyone cheered in such delight - it was AWESOME! Immediately the couple conducted their ceremony in the middle of the dance floor. Once they were pronounced Husband and Wife there was a flood of applause and everyone couldn't wait to congratulate them and of course ask how they pulled this off.

Congratulations to Alexis and Kevin for planning and hosting a fabulous party! You both did a stellar job in planning one of the most unique and memorable events. I'm so pleased and honoured that we were included.

Thank you.

*Photos provided by Robert Collins of Adjusting Light

Next blog post will showcase the Photo Op that Alexis & Kevin had set up for guests after the 'surprise' was revealed.

3 Brides & a Butler

The Bride's Butler had the honour of providing Day of Coordination services for 3 weddings in the past 2 weeks....October 9th, 10th and 16th.

I have plans to tell you all about each wedding - but I'm waiting on photos from the photographers to go along with the posts. Here's just a little info of each to get you started....

Lisa & Jon wed in Hamilton on October 9th. Their wedding was beautiful! The gals wore eggplant coloured dresses, potted mums filled the church and all the guys looked dashing. Lisa looked beautiful in her strapless dress - and I'm sure her Groom would agree. Both of them were surrounded by fabulous family and friends. They were very blessed to have a great day. I'll tell you more about their wedding in our next post.

Alexis & Kevin were our "Surprise Wedding" clients - they got hitched on October 10th in Welland. Helping coordinate an event like this was a first for us, and we loved every minute! I'm hoping to have at least 2 posts dedicated to their event because of the uniqueness. This couple had it right - no fuss from family and friends with planning decisions (colours, location, etc) - their wedding was all about them and their love.
We had a fantastic time with Alexis & Kevin - I can't wait to tell you more and show you pictures from their wedding!

And lastly, Helen & Jason tied the knot outside at Webster's Falls in Dundas on October 16th, and they couldn't have had better weather! This laid back couple planned a romantic outdoor ceremony and we were there to help them execute their vision. Three piece string quartet, sheppard's hooks with hydrangeas, white chairs placed beside a rivine that cascades down a waterfall...simply romantic! Helen & Jason are a great couple who I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with! I'll post about their wedding in a few weeks.

In the past 2 years of assisting Brides with their weddings, I've never executed 3 weddings in 2 weeks - it was fantastic! Busy - but fantastic! It was wonderful to have been continuously surrounded by so much love and excitement  these past 2 weeks. I love my job, I love helping out Brides & Grooms and I love seeing a wedding (or event) come together as planned! Thanks to my October couples for trusting me & The Bride's Butler with your most special day!

Congratulations!


*Stay tuned for upcoming posts about these weddings

Life is like a bowl full of cherries....

Or, is life like a box of chocolates? One is sweet, the other is sour. One can go rotten, the other stale. Both however, can taste good. How you look at your wedding planning is all about perspective - all about how you see things, what you like best, and what is going to help you achieve happiness (before & after the wedding ceremony).

What's good for one, may be bad for another. What is one's dream, may be anothers nightmare - but at the end of the day (this day being your wedding rehearsal, the eve of your nuptials) you have to know that you did the best you could with planning a great party, and preparing yourself for what comes after the wedding - marriage.

There are going to be issues during your wedding planning - difference in opinions - and I can guarantee it, there will be spats (between you & your Groom, between you & his family /your family and between you & your friends).


Firstly, everyone should understand and respect that this is YOUR wedding - and by 'your', I mean you and your fiance. This is a special time for you, and all others should simply take joy in the happiest time of your life. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. You may have certain people that will try to add extra stresses for you - not sure why, jealousy perhaps. In the Wedding Industry, we call these wedding 'energy suckers' - Wedding Trolls. LOL! Have a good laugh if you can, because like mentioned above, it is YOUR day.
TIP: Talk to your fiance about anyone that is troubling you, and work it out together. Either turn a blind eye, or confront the person about how they are making you feel.

I see your 'full house', but I trump it with my 'Bride'. There's a reason why they say "it's for the Bride". Wedding planning is stressful - it's like having another full time job with way more bosses than co-workers. If the Bride asks you do help out, or to do something reasonable - then please, for everyone's sake - just do it.
Don't make issues out of small requests. Everyone should keep this in mind at all times - it's the Bride & Groom's day - your day will come, or it has already passed - it's not all about you, it's about them.
TIP: Be tactful with your requests. Big or small, those that love you and want to see you happy will help out. All others can, you know.....

You and your Groom 'chose' to be with each other. Again, people are going to have their say/opinon - about you, about your ideas, and about your wedding. No matter what is said, the two of you need to stick together - this is very important. Family is family, you don't pick them - but you picked who you want to spend the rest of your life with - make that choice count.
TIP: If he doesn't have your back, and tells you that he feels like he's "in the middle" of any issues that arise - that might be a sign that he doesn't view the two of you as a unit.
Working together should be easy and fun - not a battle.

May you remember that you can't please everyone, so aim to please just you and your Groom.
Weddings are all about 2 people joining together - and not about what family traditions have to be included, where relatives should be seated & when to have the first dance. A wedding should only be about you and your fiance - your wants, needs, desires and dreams.
TIP: Again, be tactful and compromise the best you can. Try to put yourself in the shoes of others simply for a 'reality check' as planning your wedding can become all encompassing, but don't settle for a wedding that isn't what you always envisioned.

Don't sweat the small stuff. You can plan until you're blue in the face, but things will still go wrong on your wedding day. Of course having a Wedding Planner on site helps with this, but if you don't have a Planner, try to focus on the reason you are gathered - for a marriage, not just a party. There's no wedding without the vows.
TIP: Keep a clear perspective. Keep it simple. You, him, marriage, life.

Try to keep your perspective about your wedding planning as 'sweet' as possible. Be respectful, but don't be taken for granted. Be heard, but not overbearing. Be you - and if that's an issue for anyone, then they don't deserve to be a part of your special day.

Overall, try not to get too stressed out - and if you do, that may be telling you more than you think. Take a step back and look beyond the wedding, beyond the 'one day of celebration' and make sure that you're having a party for all the right reasons, because in the end - it is just one day.

Good luck!

My Fair Lady

Came across these beautiful wedding photos on Love & Lavender while perusing the 'Wedding Blog' circuit. How adorable are these shots from a Winnipeg, Canada wedding?

Photos were taken by Simply Rosie Photography.

Enjoy!

Take your wedding to the location of your choice for your photos - somewhere that speaks to both of you, one that you'll have fun at, and a location that you'll remember your entire life.