Be Our Guest

To invite a plus one, or not to invite a plus one – that has been a debatable question for quite some time.

If you’re on a budget, the first way to save is to cut the guest list. A good rule of thumb is; if you haven’t had a sit down meal with them in a year, then they shouldn’t be invited to your wedding. This of course doesn’t apply to relatives or close friends that live in another Province/State/Country. Best thing to do is create your list of everyone you want to celebrate with (including your side and his side – get names from both sets of parents too!) and then make some cuts. If you really have to struggle with the decision, let that show you that you likely wouldn’t be upset if they RSVP’d “No”, so save yourself the possible added cost and just don’t invite them.

Bet I sound pretty cut throat right now, huh? Wait, there’s more.

Now that you have your list of guests you must have at your wedding, you have to figure out what to do about those sans relationship. This poses the question of inviting a plus one.

Here’s my take: If your guest is currently single and isn’t dating anyone for more than 6 months, then they shouldn't get a plus one.  If they have been in a relationship for longer than 6 months, then they should be invited – you wouldn’t have wanted someone to exclude you when you were with your hubs-to-be at the 6 month mark, right?

Plus, I think it’s silly to offer a “plus one” just so your guest can invite someone they are casually dating (and you’ve likely never met) just so that they can have a date. If you invite all of your single guests on their own, then volia, they’ve got company – and you could be a possible matchmaker!

Now, I know that this might sound mean, but if you're trying to cut costs, less people = less money spent. So, if you feel that you have to allow your guest to have a date so that they don't respond "No", or are embarrassed to show up stag, or are going to be bored - then be all means invite them with a plus one. Just know you might have to reduce your spending in other areas like flowers, decor, etc to make up the difference.

When inviting a plus one, it’s standard etiquette to get their full name – so get on the phone, or send an email so you can properly address the invitation to your guest and their date. This is VERY important for guests that have a serious relationship by means of living with or being engaged. You MUST address them by their name – they are an official couple. Stating “ & guest” is very informal, and it’s rude to be referred to as that in the seating chart and or place cards. Eeek!

So, will you or won’t you include the plus one for your single guests? No matter what you choose, stick with it and don’t allow some guests to bring a date and others can’t. You should either follow what we’ve suggested, or make your own rules, but no matter what, be firm. When your guest gets to plan their wedding, they’ll see for themselves that the plus one question isn’t so easy after all.

Happy planning!

"We gotta talk...."

No one likes hearing the words, "we gotta talk..." Usually those words are interpreted as trouble - but let me tell you, if you don't have this talk, you may very well have trouble - in your marriage.

Weddings are fantastic - they are fun, full of love and laughter and are really truly just one big party to proclaim your love and adoration for one another. What comes after the wedding is a marriage - and that is meant to last the rest of your life. So even though you are doing so much planning for your wedding, be sure to slot in some time to plan for your marriage as well.

I came across this article the other day on the Canadian Living website - "10 things to talk about before you get married" and think that all couples should have this chat prior to tying the knot.

Here are the 10 things that they say you should talk about:

1) Decision making.
What is important to you both and what is your communication style. It needs to work for both of you - and a little compromise goes a long way.

2) Chore & task sharing.
Responsibilities. Do you take care of the bill payments, but he does all the yard work? Do you do the laundry and he takes out the trash? Having a game plan for your life tasks and duties will help keep the arguments at bay.

3) Kids.
To have or not to have, that is the question.

4) Religion & values.
Do you share the same values, goals and beliefs? This question will also impact #3.

5) Family.
You can pick your friends but not your family. However, you've picked your partner, so remember that when it comes to family politics and dramatics. Chat about how much time you plan to spend with each others family, especially for holidays, birthdays and whatnot.

6) Careers.
Are you both established in your careers, or will you want a change in the future? Do one of you have to travel a lot for work? Will you relocate?

7) Sex.
You've gotta talk about your wants and desires in this category too. Life brings on different situations and stress levels, so you've got to let your partner know that intimacy is important to you no matter what. Also, I'd use this time to inform them of your thoughts on open-relationships and affairs if you haven't already done so.

8) Finances.
Money can cause a lot of issues for couples - especially when one makes more than the other. As a married couple, you need to decide if you will have a joint bank account, or keep your assets separate. How will you save for the future, and how do you plan on spending your earnings together? Trips, kids, etc.

9) Time together and apart.
You still need to have your girls nights and 'me time' even though you are going to be a Mrs.
Be sure to talk to your man about what both of your expectations about free time are. A lot of time this is where resentment starts - when you feel alone in your relationship because your partner doesn't spend their free time with you. We want to avoid this, have the talk.

10) Drugs, alcohol and gambling.
How do you both feel about these? Can you partake but in a healthy manner? Are there issues with one of these already present in your relationship?

So, have the talk with your partner. I suggest not to have it all at once, unless you have a few hours to invest in it. But, discussing your views on these 10 things will prepare you for your life ahead with this person. It will also act like a refresher for those of you that have been together for a long time and might have talked about some of these things earlier on in your relationship. Maybe your views have changed, and that's okay. People change and grow as they go through life - it's just that with a marriage, you are to change and grow together.

Good luck!

*the list was comprised from the article featured on Canadian Living, however the comments below each headline are my own opinions.

Lasting Love

'A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.  The order varies for any given year.'  ~Paul Sweeney

Weddings are a beautiful event, but even more beautiful is to see the same couple year after year still in love. As you travel through life, you'll grow and change with your partner, and hopefully you'll see that true love never dies.

My parents celebrated their 33rd Anniversary yesterday and their relationship is a true testament that love can last. My parents have a union that is one to honour, respect and admire. They make me think that fairytales actually do exist.

May your wedding day be the beginning of many Anniversaries to come with your partner - your best friend.

Good luck to all of The Bride's Butler's newlyweds, and congratulations to clients celebrating anniversaries. And, congratulations to my parents.

'A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.'  ~Mignon McLaughlin