The R.S.V.P card

Guest Blogger: Rebecca Leary from Wedding Paper Divas

Find this invitation & RSVP card set from Wedding Paper Divas

At the very least, wedding invitations include the actual invitation and the R.S.V.P. card. While the wedding invitation sets the tone for the celebration and provides the who, what, when, where and why of the event; what exactly is the R.S.V.P. card? Sure, we know that it means to respond to the sender with whether or not you plan on attending the wedding – but is it perhaps something more?

First, let’s take care of the basics. R.S.V.P. is French for Répondez S'il Vous Plaît, which literally means: respond, if you please. Or simply, please respond. Please note: it is redundant to write: Please R.S.V.P., which would translate to: Please respond, if you please. Now, is the R.S.V.P. card something more than a count of attendance? 

Well yes, and here’s how:

For the Couple
Whether your budget is $5,000 or $50,000, making sure it’s allocated properly and not wasted is a high priority for every couple and the R.S.V.P. card gives you a certain amount of budget control. It is with this card that you can keep a handle on wedding costs by simply filling in the number of guests and/or writing their name(s) on the M line. This way there are no surprise guests and if you want an evening without children, it politely lets guests know they need to make the proper arrangements. Also, if you are offering menu choices, you can offer guests the option to select a single entrée rather than providing dual entrees, letting you make sure the appropriate amount is prepared. Finally, if you are hosting multiple events, simply list all of them on the R.S.V.P. card and keep track of attendance all in one place.

Beyond the budget, the R.S.V.P. card helps build excitement for the day to come. As you start getting them back in the mail, you’ll find that guests, both those attending and those who cannot, often write a personal note of congratulations. Compiled into a book, box or binder, these messages are yet another keepsake of your special day.  

Wedding Paper Divas

For Guests
It is an honor and a privilege to witness one of life’s most intimate moments between two people. As a guest, it is helpful to pay close attention to the subtle clues on the wedding invitation – location, attire, wording, etc. – and the R.S.V.P card, observing the same elements as noted above. Every last detail was carefully selected to let you, as a guest, know what to expect in accordance to the couples wishes – all in an effort to ensure everyone has a great time.

After all, if it was your wedding, you’d expect the same from your guests.

As a final note, to account for those who forget to fill in their name on the R.S.V.P. card, (yes it does happen) simply make a numbered list of the guests and write the corresponding number on the R.S.V.P envelope by the stamp. It’s an inconspicuous spot and will save you the trouble of trying to figure out who sent it.

Author Bio: Rebecca Leary is a seasoned writer and guest author who enjoys connecting people with thoughtful products, services and ideas as they relate to the wedding and event planning industries.

Who shouldn't make the list?

Did you read the last post about a guest that took part in an inappropriate activity over the main course at a wedding? Check it out here if you missed it.

In today's post we'll talk about what you can do as a Bride or Groom planning your guest list and the kind of guests you might ask yourself, "Should they make the list?"

The first thing you can do when making your list is to only invite friends, family, co-workers and such that you know and trust. Sure you want to invite your old elementary school friend, or the kid you grew up next door to, but if you don't really know these people now - don't invite them. People change, and you don't want to be surprised (or disappointed) with how they turned out on your most special day.

Now, no one is perfect - we know this, but you have to be realistic while planning your wedding. When we say realistic we mean by setting a manageable budget, maintaining your expectations and knowing what kind of personality and behaviors your guests have. When creating your guest list keep these types of guests in mind:

The Class Clown. This is the guy with no filter and thinks his sense of humor is oh-so-hilarious. He can sometimes be brash, hurtful and immature. Do not let the class clown give a speech - unless of course he's the Best Man then you might want to have someone, like your coordinator review it before he releases the ghosts in your Grooms closet.

Troubled Guests. Troubled can mean whatever you want it to depending on your level of comfort, values, culture or religion. This could be guests suffering from depression, going through a divorce, has an overly negative outlook or are into drugs/crime.

The Party Animal. Sometimes the Class Clown is this person as well. Typically the Party Animal drinks a lot. Your guests are going to drink, and some will get intoxicated, but if you're inviting someone who drinks heavily, binges or outright has a drinking problem - beware.

The Slut. I hate to say it, but almost everyone knows one. You know, she's the girl that will wear a dress shorter than short, and will make it her mission to hook up on your wedding night. Casual flirtation is welcome at weddings and a lot of times people do hook up at weddings and end up dating and sometimes even get married themselves, but look out for the slut. When building your guest list and adding her name do you immediate picture her making out in the corner with your adorable cousin? If you answered yes, perhaps you can invite her to the Bachelorette, but skip the wedding invite.

The Ex. Do not invite your ex or your Grooms ex to your wedding. Unless of course you're that one off couple that married your ex's sister/brother. Past loves should stay in the past. 

The New Parents. Some people don't want to have kids at their wedding and that's just fine, but beware that some guests, specifically new parents who might feel slighted that you didn't include little Bobby in the invite. If you're worried about some guests bringing their children, be sure to state on the invite that it's a celebration for adults only. And if you need to, sit down with your friend who's a parent and explain to them that you'd love to spend time with them and their kid(s), just not on your wedding day.

Weddings are about celebrating with family and friends and we know that you won't be able to totally avoid inviting some of these characters - so next post we'll discuss how to deal with unruly guests. Stay tuned!

Be My Valentine?

Valentine's Day is this week and you may be thinking about ways to show your love and affection without spending a fortune. If you're getting married this year, you're probably working within a "we're getting married" budget. To help you out, here are a few 'stay at home' ideas to get romantic with your fiance without breaking the bank.

Faux 'take-out'

Rather than ordering in which can be pricey and greasy (ahem, wedding dress to wear in the near future) why not make your own? Make your own pizza, panini's or even chinese at home. Whip up a tasty stir fry and put it in chinese take-out boxes and eat with chop sticks. You can find the take-out boxes at a craft, paper or dollar store. Top off this meal with a selection of fortunes you made and placed into a pretty vase and then you and your hunny can pick one and read it aloud to each other.

Cuddle on the couch

Just because it's Valentine's Day doesn't mean that you have to watch a romantic comedy - in fact, you should probably watch your guy's favourite flick. Select a movie from his collection, pop some popcorn and cuddle on the couch. Since you won't be all that interested in his flick choice, use this time alone to behave like you first did when you started dating. A little make-out sesh on the couch never hurt anyone.

Lights Out

It's not what it sounds like. Once in a while it's good to 'unplug' all the technology and just spend some quality time together. Light candles, turn off the computer, cell phone, tv and ipod and just enjoy spending time together. Do a crossword or puzzle by candlelight, or read each other poetry. Take a bubble bath together, or give each other foot rubs.

Learn from each other

Are you a good baker? Does he kick butt at Poker? Spend an afternoon or evening teaching each other what you're good at. You might find out something new about your significant other through this exercise.

Get Active

Again, not what I mean here - get your mind outta the gutter. A great way to bond and spend time with your love is to get active together. Go for a hike, an evening stroll with the dog, play a few rounds of Wii Sport or get out your yoga mats and follow an instructional video together.

Be Our Guest

To invite a plus one, or not to invite a plus one – that has been a debatable question for quite some time.

If you’re on a budget, the first way to save is to cut the guest list. A good rule of thumb is; if you haven’t had a sit down meal with them in a year, then they shouldn’t be invited to your wedding. This of course doesn’t apply to relatives or close friends that live in another Province/State/Country. Best thing to do is create your list of everyone you want to celebrate with (including your side and his side – get names from both sets of parents too!) and then make some cuts. If you really have to struggle with the decision, let that show you that you likely wouldn’t be upset if they RSVP’d “No”, so save yourself the possible added cost and just don’t invite them.

Bet I sound pretty cut throat right now, huh? Wait, there’s more.

Now that you have your list of guests you must have at your wedding, you have to figure out what to do about those sans relationship. This poses the question of inviting a plus one.

Here’s my take: If your guest is currently single and isn’t dating anyone for more than 6 months, then they shouldn't get a plus one.  If they have been in a relationship for longer than 6 months, then they should be invited – you wouldn’t have wanted someone to exclude you when you were with your hubs-to-be at the 6 month mark, right?

Plus, I think it’s silly to offer a “plus one” just so your guest can invite someone they are casually dating (and you’ve likely never met) just so that they can have a date. If you invite all of your single guests on their own, then volia, they’ve got company – and you could be a possible matchmaker!

Now, I know that this might sound mean, but if you're trying to cut costs, less people = less money spent. So, if you feel that you have to allow your guest to have a date so that they don't respond "No", or are embarrassed to show up stag, or are going to be bored - then be all means invite them with a plus one. Just know you might have to reduce your spending in other areas like flowers, decor, etc to make up the difference.

When inviting a plus one, it’s standard etiquette to get their full name – so get on the phone, or send an email so you can properly address the invitation to your guest and their date. This is VERY important for guests that have a serious relationship by means of living with or being engaged. You MUST address them by their name – they are an official couple. Stating “ & guest” is very informal, and it’s rude to be referred to as that in the seating chart and or place cards. Eeek!

So, will you or won’t you include the plus one for your single guests? No matter what you choose, stick with it and don’t allow some guests to bring a date and others can’t. You should either follow what we’ve suggested, or make your own rules, but no matter what, be firm. When your guest gets to plan their wedding, they’ll see for themselves that the plus one question isn’t so easy after all.

Happy planning!

Sunday Weddings

Would you get married on a Sunday?

 

It seems that Sunday weddings are becoming more popular – we’ve coordinated 4 since we started in 2008, and have 2 more booked for this year. Wondering why? Well, Sunday weddings tend to be cheaper because venues offer a slight discount to hold your wedding then instead of the ever-popular Saturday. 

Over the years Friday weddings have been more in demand as well. Originally you could book Friday for cheaper than a Saturday, but now they are basically neck in neck in price. Do you think that Saturday weddings will be a thing of the past?

I can see getting married on a Sunday if it’s a long weekend, which is what most of our clients have done. 

We think that a beautiful brunch or luncheon wedding on a Sunday would be awesome. Or an afternoon ceremony followed with a cocktail reception, or a picnic-like dinner. Keep it light, and keep it from getting late. Most people won’t stay too long at a Sunday wedding if they have to work the next day, and travel a fair distance to boot.

So, what’s your thoughts on hosting or going to a wedding on a Sunday?

The Rehearsal Dinner

Our last post focused on The Rehearsal and all that it entails, so now we’re going to chat about The Rehearsal Dinner. 

Typically hosted by the Groom’s parents, this event occurs after the rehearsal of your ceremony. This is an event that you hubby-to-be might want to be involved in a bit more, and if it’s alright by you, you should let him pick the place, type of food and if there will be a theme. For some ideas, check out this article on The Knot. 

Most couples will have a semi-formal Rehearsal Dinner at a local restaurant or even at the venue if they have on site catering or a restaurant. The dress is business casual and the atmosphere is relaxed and enjoyable. Everyone is excited, and a little nervous as they await the wedding that is about to take place. The rehearsal dinner is the best time to present your parents and wedding party with their gifts and to thank them for their support, participation and love during your engagement. If you don’t like to make grandiose speeches, take the time to chat to each person and thank them – as you likely won’t have the time or the proper thought process to do it on your actual wedding day.

Who pays for the Rehearsal Dinner? Usually the Groom’s parents, but this is quite old fashioned as it was because the Bride’s parents paid for the wedding. Nowadays, couples are paying for their own wedding, or pitching in a 1/3 with both sets of parents. So when discussing the wedding budget, be sure to factor in the Rehearsal Dinner. Work out a total and method of payment that works for all parties involved.

Be sure to have fun at your rehearsal dinner, but we advise that you keep alcohol consumption to a minimum and try to limit your salt intake. You don’t want to be dehydrated or bloated on your wedding day. Enjoy the company of your family and friends and be sure to enjoy the moment.

So, who’s invited to the Rehearsal Dinner? Parents, Grandparents, the wedding party and their significant others and your officiant (specifically if you’re a member of a church). If you have guests coming from out of town for your wedding, it’s a nice gesture to invite them to the dinner as well.

Whomever is hosting the event should send out the invites about 3 weeks prior to the wedding. It’s usually assumed that there will be a rehearsal followed by a dinner, but you should still send out a formal invite. Need some ideas? Check out these rehearsal dinner invitations by the Wedding Paper Divas.

Wishing you a fabulous time at your Rehearsal Dinner!

Bad Bridesmaids

Bad Bridesmaids - it's more common than you think.

You ask your friends to be in your wedding party because you want them to take joy in your special day. Most will say 'yes' because they are honoured and couldn't imagine not being by your side for when you say "I do" and others say 'yes' because they want to show you love and support during a very stressful time. Then there are some who say 'yes' simply out of obligation - whether that be because of past history with them, or because they are family. Don't get me wrong, sometimes Brides will ask family, future family-to-be and friends to be Bridesmaids because they feel obligated to do so, but either way, once you say 'yes' and become a Bridesmaid you have accepted a position - you have given your word - you have made a commitment to what most consider an honour.

As a Bridesmaid (BM) or Maid or Matron of Honour (MOH) you have a few responsibilities, including but not limited to:

- supporting the Bride & her decisions

- planning and hosting of a Bridal Shower, helping with food & assisting with games

- tag along to as many vendor meetings as possible as requested by the Bride to give your support
- remembering that this is your friends day, so showing respect & tact in all you do

- coordinating a Stag & Doe, selling tickets and attending the event

- planning & attending a Bachelorette Party

- other tasks requested by the couple (within reason of course!)

- As MOH you are the signing witness at the ceremony and you hold the Bride's bouquet for her

Being a bridesmaid is truly an honour and a job to take seriously. Being in a Wedding Party can be expensive, most Brides know this and try to accommodate the best they can by providing payment for hair or make-up on the day of, but mostly as a Bridesmaid you will incur most of the costs. You will likely need to pay for the dress, shoes, accessories (unless given as a thank you gift from the Bride), hair, make-up, Bridal Shower expenses, travel, accommodations, and a gift (typically given by all members of the wedding party to save money). On average you can expect to spend $500 plus when accepting to be a BM or MOH.

If you are unsure of your role and your duties, ask the Bride. Organized Brides will offer you an itinerary, or a friendly budget breakdown as a guide. If you don't think you can handle the responsibilities, time and expenses after you have said 'yes' don't feel bad about talking to the Bride and seeing if you can respectfully decline. Most Brides will understand and will place you in a role like Program Attendant, or they can be a reader during your ceremony so that you can still participate in the event. Whatever you do, don't become a Bad Bridesmaid.

Traits of a Bad Bridesmaid are:

- Not getting along with other members of the Wedding Party.

- Showing up late or not at all to wedding related festivities (Shower, Stag & Doe, Rehearsal)

- Dismissing the requests of the Bride ("No, I will not wear those shoes")

- Blatantly trying to upstage the Bride in any way, shape or form. It is her day, not yours.

- Getting rip roaring drunk at any wedding related festivities, especially the wedding.

- Talking poorly about the Bride, Groom or family members to other members of the Wedding Party, or anyone else for that matter.


So Brides, how do you deal with Bad Bridesmaids? There are many ways, but the best way is to be respectful, tactful and truthful. Tell (don't ask) them to discontinue their role. If this ends the friendship, better to find out now and move on. If it doesn't, as she may feel relieved to have the duty taken away, then place her among other guests so that she can still enjoy your wedding day. For more help on how to deal, give us a call for a Consultation or scour the Internet for tips.

No matter what, there are going to be people that will put a damper on your wedding planning process.
Try not to stress out too much, and keep in mind what you can do for your Bridesmaids to make the experience pleasurable for them and everyone else that's involved.
Good luck!

Hubba Hubba

Be my Valentine, my love,

As I will be for you,

And we will love the whole day long,

And love our whole lives through.

Valentine's Day is in a few weeks and you may be thinking about ways to show your love and affection without spending a fortune. If you're getting married this year, you're probably working within a "we're getting married" budget. To help you out, here are a few 'stay at home' ideas to get romantic with your fiance without breaking the bank.

Faux 'take-out'

Rather than ordering in which can be pricey and greasy (ahem, wedding dress to wear in the near future) why not make your own? Make your own pizza, panini's or even chinese at home. Whip up a tasty stir fry and put it in chinese take-out boxes and eat with chop sticks. You can find the take-out boxes at a craft, paper or dollar store. Top off this meal with a selection of fortunes you made and placed into a pretty vase and then you and your hunny can pick one and read it aloud to each other.

Cuddle on the couch

Just because it's Valentine's Day doesn't mean that you have to watch a romantic comedy - in fact, you should probably watch your guy's favourite flick. Select a movie from his collection, pop some popcorn and cuddle on the couch. Since you won't be all that interested in his flick choice, use this time alone to behave like you first did when you started dating. A little make-out sesh on the couch never hurt anyone.

Lights Out

It's not what it sounds like. Once in a while it's good to 'unplug' all the technology and just spend some quality time together. Light candles, turn off the computer, cell phone, tv and ipod and just enjoy spending time together. Do a crossword or puzzle by candlelight, or read each other poetry. Take a bubble bath together, or give each other foot rubs.

Learn from each other

Are you a good baker? Does he kick butt at Poker? Spend an afternoon or evening teaching each other what you're good at. You might find out something new about your significant other through this exercise.

Get Active

Again, not what I mean here - get your mind outta the gutter. A great way to bond and spend time with your love is to get active together. Go for a hike, an evening stroll with the dog, play a few rounds of Wii Sport or get out your yoga mats and follow an instructional video together.

What's Old is New again.

Vintage inspired weddings are very popular right now. Adding vintage touches and mix-matched items to your wedding make it unique and personal.

There’s also a whimsical element to vintage inspired weddings. They appear to be more relaxed (less stuffy) and also can be friendly on the budget if you can beg, borrow and steal.

Vintage inspired weddings also seem so timeless. I think this may be a trend that stays around a while.

To add the vintage feel to your wedding incorporate some of the following:

- silhouettes

- family heirlooms (brooches, pocket watch, fabric, etc)

- mix-matched china (from your Grandma’s china cabinet, or from a flea market)

- mason jars, and an assortment of vases – milk glass, depression glass, coloured glass (amber, blue, etc)

- wild flowers

- antique furniture and accessories

- black and white photos/ sepia photos

- art deco jewelry, pillbox hats, bow ties, vests and bird cage veils

- stationary can include monogram, letterpress printing or a wax seal

- lace or patterned fabric, and or a mix match of colour & textures

Check out some wedding blogs like Wedding Chicks, the Knot and Green Wedding Shoes and search for ‘vintage’. Just remember though when planning your vintage inspired wedding (or even Engagement session) that less is more.

Will you marry me?

Proposals!

Who doesn't love a great proposal story?

Boy meets girl. Courtship. Love. Congratulations!

I love how in the movies, men usually state the girls entire name -

first and middle while on bended knee. "Mary Margaret, will you..."

And, for some reason I think that about 85% of the time, the girl answers with "of course!"

I wonder if there's a way to find out what the most common phrase uttered after a proposal is?

"Seriously?" or "Oh, my God!", and 'of course' there is the big one, the one the guy wants to hear..."YES!"

(Btw, if you find this percentage, holler at me will ya? Thx)

So, you said YES, now what?

You tell the masses about your proposal, that's what! Share your exciting and happy news with friends, family, co-workers, neighbours, and with whomever you want - flash that rock and your ear to ear smile all over the place! You deserve it, you're getting MARRIED!!

Most couples get engaged and right away they are changing their facebook status from In a Relationship to Engaged. They are tweeting about the proposal, and even possibly sending an announcement to the local paper. What did you do? Did you create a wedding website, or did you happen to have your proposal taped and then uploaded onto Youtube? How did you spread the news?

Once the news is spread, and the congrats and well wishes are graciously recieved, it's time to get into the nitty gritty of planning your wedding. But, we do stress (before you start to stress) that you take time to enjoy being engaged before you dive deep into the planning process. :)

So, what do we suggest are some of the first things you do after the engagement, but before the planning?

Brainstorm with your fiance the type of wedding you both want.

Will there be a theme? How do you want to express your own seperate personalities as well as your togetherness? For some couples it's through colours, unique details or the style of attire and venue.

To help you brainstorm, we suggest that you pick up a few magazines. Our favourites are Martha Stewart Weddings, Today's Bride, Weddingbells and Toronto Life's 2010 Wedding edition. Clip out pictures and create inspiration boards. This part of the planning is so much fun!

Next, hire a Wedding Planner. Whether you're a DYI Bride, and you want to plan every detail of your wedding on your own, or you're a full-time professional with little time or desire (gasp) to plan your own wedding, a planner can help you get the wedding you've always dreamt of. Planning a wedding takes lots of time, patience, money and compromise. Yes, even though it's all about the Bride, remember that there are mothers & mother-in-laws that will have input about your wedding ideas. A Planner can be your right hand woman, your rock, your therapist, and your saving grace when the going gets tough.

Then of course, you have to set a budget. Sometimes the creation of a budget involves you, your fiance, both sets of parents, and your Wedding Planner. The budget will depend on who is paying for the wedding. Be prepared to use your compromising skills. :) Your planner can also aid you with making proper decisions in regards to sticking to and within your budget.

Lastly, do your research! If you only want to hire a Wedding Planner for DOC services, thus eliminating your chances of getting industry discounts, extra value and referrals of trusted professionals usually only offered through Full Wedding Planning services, make sure you do much research before you book any vendors. Ask questions, get a second opinion and try to meet or consider 3 vendors at a time. Basically, pretend you're Simon Cowell of American Idol - only much nicer, and way prettier, and choose the vendors you want to see go to Hollywood (a.k.a your wedding) with you!

We're so glad you said YES! and are on your way to planning your

Happily Ever After.

*even Wedding Planners sometimes need inspiration. Today's post was inspired by a blog post at www.weddingaces.com