Who shouldn't make the list?

Did you read the last post about a guest that took part in an inappropriate activity over the main course at a wedding? Check it out here if you missed it.

In today's post we'll talk about what you can do as a Bride or Groom planning your guest list and the kind of guests you might ask yourself, "Should they make the list?"

The first thing you can do when making your list is to only invite friends, family, co-workers and such that you know and trust. Sure you want to invite your old elementary school friend, or the kid you grew up next door to, but if you don't really know these people now - don't invite them. People change, and you don't want to be surprised (or disappointed) with how they turned out on your most special day.

Now, no one is perfect - we know this, but you have to be realistic while planning your wedding. When we say realistic we mean by setting a manageable budget, maintaining your expectations and knowing what kind of personality and behaviors your guests have. When creating your guest list keep these types of guests in mind:

The Class Clown. This is the guy with no filter and thinks his sense of humor is oh-so-hilarious. He can sometimes be brash, hurtful and immature. Do not let the class clown give a speech - unless of course he's the Best Man then you might want to have someone, like your coordinator review it before he releases the ghosts in your Grooms closet.

Troubled Guests. Troubled can mean whatever you want it to depending on your level of comfort, values, culture or religion. This could be guests suffering from depression, going through a divorce, has an overly negative outlook or are into drugs/crime.

The Party Animal. Sometimes the Class Clown is this person as well. Typically the Party Animal drinks a lot. Your guests are going to drink, and some will get intoxicated, but if you're inviting someone who drinks heavily, binges or outright has a drinking problem - beware.

The Slut. I hate to say it, but almost everyone knows one. You know, she's the girl that will wear a dress shorter than short, and will make it her mission to hook up on your wedding night. Casual flirtation is welcome at weddings and a lot of times people do hook up at weddings and end up dating and sometimes even get married themselves, but look out for the slut. When building your guest list and adding her name do you immediate picture her making out in the corner with your adorable cousin? If you answered yes, perhaps you can invite her to the Bachelorette, but skip the wedding invite.

The Ex. Do not invite your ex or your Grooms ex to your wedding. Unless of course you're that one off couple that married your ex's sister/brother. Past loves should stay in the past. 

The New Parents. Some people don't want to have kids at their wedding and that's just fine, but beware that some guests, specifically new parents who might feel slighted that you didn't include little Bobby in the invite. If you're worried about some guests bringing their children, be sure to state on the invite that it's a celebration for adults only. And if you need to, sit down with your friend who's a parent and explain to them that you'd love to spend time with them and their kid(s), just not on your wedding day.

Weddings are about celebrating with family and friends and we know that you won't be able to totally avoid inviting some of these characters - so next post we'll discuss how to deal with unruly guests. Stay tuned!

Selecting your venue

This Saturday I’m going with my clients Brooke and Richard to look at a venue for their 2012 wedding. Do you know what to look for when deciding on a venue? Here are some helpful tips:

Dates:
Do they have your specific date available? If not, are you willing to change yours? Perhaps any Saturday in July is okay with you – or maybe you want a Friday. Check first – this will help you narrow your venue selection if you are dead set on a specific date.

Décor:
A lot of Brides & Grooms will fall in love with the décor and want to book right away. Be sure not to get caught up in the looks of it all. Remember; don’t judge a book by its cover. You want your venue to meet other needs as well.

Electrical:
What is the lighting like? Can it be lowered or altered? Will you need extra lighting? Also, check out the number of outlets in the room. This will come in handy for your DJ, Photographer and Decorator (if you hire one).

Candles:
Are you allowed to have candles lit during your reception? If so, can they be open flame, or must they be contained within a vase or jar? What about sparklers or fireworks?

Food:
Do they provide the food through in-house catering? Or do you have to hire an outside company? If they provide the food, what are your options and can you build from the existing packages – for example, make the filets bacon wrapped, or swap out mashed potatoes for baked. Also, can you bring in outside food? This is an important question if you have religious or traditional beliefs you need incorporated into your special day.

Drink:
Is alcohol (bar) included in the menu cost? Will you need to bring in your own drinks and bartender? If so, you’ll need to incorporate a liquor licence into your budget.

Extras:
What’s including with your booking? Some venues offer discounts at local hotels, or other wedding vendors such as limo and cake. Do they include linens and dishware in the price, or is that extra? Find out exactly what the “packages” offer.

Bathrooms:
Be sure to check the bathrooms. Are they easily accessible? Are they clean and well maintained? How many bathrooms and stalls?

Room layout:
Are you on the main level, or the second floor? Lot’s of stairs? Is there a room for you and your Wedding Party to freshen up in? Is there enough room for all of your guests and a dance floor?

Costs:
Is there a minimum you must spend in order to have your wedding at the venue? Is it slightly cheaper to have your wedding on a Friday rather than a Saturday? Are you able to cut costs by removing items from their “packages”? Also, keep in mind that 50% of your budget will be spend on the venue, including food & beverage.

Payment:
What kind of payment schedule do they follow? What percentage of your total cost is the deposit, and also find out if you have to pre-pay for your event, or pay the night of (balance owing). Also, find out about any hidden costs – this translates to read the contract!

Photographs:
When looking at the lighting, think of your pictures – although most Photographers should bring adequate equipment for this. Will you be taking pictures on site? Where, and will you need a permit or permission or are the grounds included in the booking of the venue?

Staff:
Meet the Manager/Owner and the Chef if possible. If they have an Event or Venue Coordinator, they will likely be your main contact. This person is key for your Wedding Planner, as we work together on your special day to ensure everything runs smoothly. Remember, a Venue Coordinator is not the same as a Wedding Coordinator.

Parking & Transportation:
Is the parking free, or will you have to pay per car? Is there enough parking for your guests and is it accessible? Will they have to park away from the location and walk? Will it be well lit at night? Is your venue near any hotels? Is your venue easy to find via a street map or road signage? If you’re ceremony is held at a different location, how far is this venue from it? You shouldn’t have your guests drive more than 30-45 minutes if possible.

Weather:
If you’re planning a summer wedding, does the venue have A/C? If not, how many windows open and to what degree? If in the winter, does the heat work and or is there a fireplace? If you’re having your ceremony at the venue and you want it outside, will it be tented, or do they have a room that can be used if it rains? How do they plan to maintain the grounds in wet weather such as rain or snow? Do they plough, drop ice melter, etc?

As you can see, ask lot’s of questions. If you’re working with a Planner, they will be able to guide you through the selection process of finding the right venue for your wedding. Don’t wait too long to find, select and book your venue. Some places are booking 16-24 months in advance!