The Maid/Matron of Honour

A few weeks ago we chatted about the Best Man, so now it's the ladies turn. The Maid or Matron of Honour is the Bride's right hand gal, and is with her through all of the good, and dare I say it bad times during the planning and celebrating.

Weddings are stressful. The Bride is making a huge life change by becoming a wife, and they're planning the biggest party ever - so they're bound to feel overwhelmed. The Maid/Matron of Honour is likely her best friend, sister or cousin - someone that they love and trust. This is the person she can vent to about how overbearing her future Mother-in-Law is being, or how her hubs-to-be is simply nodding his head at all of her suggestions. She is also the person that will tell the Bride she's beautiful on her wedding day no matter the weight she wishes she had lost - because it's true. All Brides are stunning on their wedding day, and the MOH will make sure that her friend knows it too.

If you've been asked to be a MOH it is just that - an honour. The Bride has chosen you to be by her side on her special day - to help her get ready, socialize with her family and friends at the wedding and assist with all of the pre-wedding festivities.

Here are some key things a Maid/Matron of Honour will do:

- Assist with planning the Bridal Shower(s)
- Show up on time for the Bridal Shower(s), help with the food, mingle with guests & record the gifts
- Plan the Stag & Doe (if the couple want one) with the other members of the Wedding Party
- Participate in choosing the Bridesmaid dresses
- Join the Bride when choosing her dress, or at least attending the final fitting.
- Help the Bride get ready on her wedding day
- Give a speech at the reception
- Assist with any tasks that may be required of you at the wedding (and or aiding the Coordinator)
- Make sure the Bride is enjoying her wedding - be positive, be happy and stay sober!

If you've been asked to be a MOH, congrats! It's an important role - so be sure to take it seriously while still having fun!

*Photo by Elizabeth in Love

Etiquette Tip: Setting a Table

Do you know how to properly set a table for an event? Maybe you're hosting a Bridal Shower, Rehearsal Dinner or just simply a Dinner Party and you have no idea what is proper etiquette for the table setting.

Here are a few diagrams to show you just how to do it.

Informal:
This set up is great for casual Bridal Showers, Baby Showers, Breakfasts or Luncheons.

Almost everyone has the silverware and dishware displayed in this diagram. If you're not serving alcohol, you should remove the wine class and replace it with a saucer and cup (which normally sits beside the soup spoon, but you can put it where the wineglass would be to save some space).

Remember this, you always enjoy your meal from the outside in.

Formal:

Now it gets a whole lot trickier. If you're hosting an event where you are the one setting the table, then take note. Again, you eat from the outside in, finishing your meal at the top with the dessert spoon and or cake fork. After each course, you should be removing the appropriate silverware and dishware.

At the end of the meal, you should only be left with the place card, water glass, cup and saucer, napkin and dessert utensils & plate.

Remember to place your napkin on your lap, and if you excuse yourself from the table during the meal, place it on your chair (or on the back of your chair if it's not overly soiled). The only time you can place your napkin on the table is when you are finished eating. Another way to signal that you are finished is to place your dinner fork and dinner knife side by side with the ends resting at the 5 if your plate was a clock. If you cross your knife and fork over one another to form an 'x', this tells the serving staff that you are not finished, but merely taking a break (ie: restroom).

As a guest, do your best to follow the place setting and using the proper utensil for the meal. If you're unsure, watch what others are doing at your table and you'll be just fine.

Bon Appetite!

Bridal Showers: Games & Gifts

Continuing on with chatting about Bridal Showers....

I like events – so much so it’s my passion and part-time gig, but there are 2 parts of a Bridal Shower that I don’t like very much; games & gifts.

Games:

They are bound to take place at a Shower, they almost always do. The toilet paper dress, guessing the number of jellybeans and quizzing the Bride about her Groom. These games are time fillers and ways to have your guests socialize with one another – we get it. But, what about thinking of other ways to have your guests ‘play’ with one another and have fun? What about having karaoke, or have your shower at a bowling alley or driving range? Think about things that you like to do and ask your guests to participate with you. You don’t have to have the ‘typical’ Bridal Shower.

Different ideas:

Butterfly Conservatory (tour & tea)

Manicures & Martinis (best for smaller groups, all of age of course)

Batting Cages (hot dogs & ice cream)
Outdoor Picnic (play boccie ball or badminton)

Gifts:

The only gift I’m interested in watching the Bride open is mine. I’m sure everyone else is on the same page as me – it’s boring to sit there for an hour (sometimes more) while the Bride ooh’s and ahh’s over her gifts.  Sometimes though, this ritual is tolerable when combined with a game. I know, I said I don't really like them much at Showers, but the Bridal Bingo game makes watching the Bride open her plethora of gifts more fun.

Anyways, I know that the gifts is the main reason to have a Bridal Shower, but I think that there is a better way to do this than have everyone sit and watch. How about you ask all of your guests to take their gift with them to their seat, and then throughout the Shower, the Bride can stop by each table and open the gifts of the guests seated there? This way, you can see what others gave her, and she can spend some time with you during the event. So often guests go to showers and don’t say a word to the Bride who is busy socializing and mingling with others.

Don’t be afraid to try opening your gifts this way. For guests who are curious as to what you got, get a Bridesmaid to gather them up from each table and place them on a large table for viewing.

Need some ideas for your Bridal Shower? We’d love to meet for a Consultation Meeting. Or how about we do all the work, and you & your Bridesmaids just show up? Ask us about our Bridal Shower planning package.

Bridal Shower Etiquette (for hosts)

This seems to be the time that many Brides are having Bridal Showers gearing up for their July, August & September weddings. A Bridal Shower is another festivity that is held to celebrate the marriage, much like the Stag & Doe, Bachelorette & Bachelor Parties and Rehearsal Dinner. The Bridal Shower is typically just for the Bride, although some couples now are having co-ed showers so the Groom can be 'showered' with gifts as well.

If you're a family member of the Bride-to-be or in the wedding party and are hosting a Bridal Shower,
here are some etiquette tips to help you:

1. Immediate family members should not host the event

Mothers, Future Mother-in-laws and sisters should not host the event. A cousin, Aunt, family friend or best friend should be the ones to host. Usually a Bridesmaid, or the Maid of Honour hosts the Bridal Shower.
The reason why this is frowned upon is because a Shower is given with the expectation of receiving gifts and it's in poor taste to host a party that between the lines is read as "give my daughter/sister some gifts please".

2. Only those that are invited to the wedding should be invited to the Shower

As mentioned above that Showers are a 'required gift' event, it is proper to only invite those that are invited to your special day. Ask the Bride for the wedding guest list, and perhaps go through it together with her to help build the invite list. If the Shower is a surprise, chat with the Mother of the Bride & Groom for guest names.

3. Write the Thank You card envelopes yourself

So many times we see guests arrive to a Bridal Shower and are instructed to write their name and mailing address on an envelope. We get that everyone wants an easy task concerning the wedding, but it's not very respectable to the guests. If the couple has sent, or will send a wedding invite to them, they already have their mailing address, so encourage the Bride to take the time to write the envelopes herself, or make labels. Think about the effort her guests have put into being at the Shower - they have shopped for a gift, wrapped it, signed a card, drove to the event, socialized with people they might not know very well, played corny games, watched her open up gifts and most likely dressed up. Don't you think that after all of that, the Bride (with your help) can write the envelopes?
This is one of our hang-ups...can ya tell? We're just saying that a little goes a long way.

4. Say Thank You

Not only should Thank You cards be sent within the week following the Bridal Shower, but the Bride should make sure that she says thanks to each guest whether it be after she's opened their gift, or as they are leaving. No one likes an ungrateful Bride.

5. Pony Up

If you are hosting the Bridal Shower, be prepared to spend some money. Most likely the Mother(s) will offer to pay for the shower, but you should still offer to pay for some aspects as the host. You can offer to have it at your home, or to provide a few menu items, or to pay for the decorations. No matter what, try to contribute to the cost of the event, even if the Mother(s) won't allow it.

6. Dress and behave appropriately

Do not try to upstage the Bride by any means. Dress according to the season and for the location of the event. If you are a member of the wedding party, keep in mind that you are an attendant to the Bride and are there for her. By no means are we saying you are her slave or lackey, but you should always keep in mind that the Shower and any other wedding related event is for her. Enjoy being the sidekick; the conductor in the background.

Do we have you nervous now about hosting a Bridal Shower? Don't be scared - it should be fun and exciting to host an event for the Bride.

Good manners should come naturally, and because for some they don't - we offered a few tips. Whether you are hosting a Shower or attending a Shower, we'd like to know what you think about these tips. Do you agree? Did you abide them? Have you witness them being completely ignored? We'd love to know!

Bridesmaids: How to pull it off

We've said it before, and we'll say it again - being a Bridesmaid (or Maid of Honor) is hard work.
If it was all fun and games like the newest movie to hit the theatres; Bridesmaids, then no one would ever gripe about being one.

As a Bridesmaid you've got to have the dress, shoes, hair, make-up, nails, accessories, gifts, showers, possibly a stag & doe, a bachelorette party, the rehearsal and the wedding itself. Then on top of all that you should provide support, guidance and a shoulder to cry/lean on.

Bridesmaids want to look good on the wedding day, we get that - but you have to make sure that you do not purposefully try to upstage the Bride. It is her day. As a member of the wedding party you should consider yourself a "co-host" for the festivities, especially the ceremony & reception. Be polite, gracious and not overbearing. Do as you are asked, be flexible and simply put; be a good friend.

Still not sure what to expect as a Bridesmaid? Ask the Bride.

You can however be sure of the following:

Money - expect to spend it. If you can't afford $500 upwards to $1,000 to be a Bridesmaid, then respectfully decline. The couple (specifically Bride) should inform you what is expected in the role as soon as she invites you to join the wedding party. By no means should you feel bad or guilty for having to decline.

Attire - the likely hood of you actually liking the dress and wearing it again is slim. There are more styles offered now that able to remain in your wardrobe, but again, it's unlikely. A lot of Brides are opting for black dresses so that the Bridesmaids can wear them again. What you won't see too often are white bridesmaid dresses, although it's more popular in the UK as seen in the Royal Wedding.

Participation - you will need to attend any wedding related meetings, rehearsals, showers, and events. Enjoy each of them to the fullest. Weddings are a great excuse to celebrate and enjoy life.

If you've been asked to be a Bridesmaid, perhaps you might consider giving a gift to the couple from all  members of the Wedding Party. If you all chip in a little bit for a gift, it will help all of your pocket books. And if you want to do the Bride a big favour, hire us for Day of Coordination. Having us there on the wedding day will allow you and everyone at the wedding to simply enjoy the day for what it is - a gathering of family & friends to celebrate a union of love. No Bridesmaid I've ever known wants to feel like an employee of the Bride on her special day. You are her attendants, there to take part in the occasion with her.

Have fun!

Bad Bridesmaids

Bad Bridesmaids - it's more common than you think.

You ask your friends to be in your wedding party because you want them to take joy in your special day. Most will say 'yes' because they are honoured and couldn't imagine not being by your side for when you say "I do" and others say 'yes' because they want to show you love and support during a very stressful time. Then there are some who say 'yes' simply out of obligation - whether that be because of past history with them, or because they are family. Don't get me wrong, sometimes Brides will ask family, future family-to-be and friends to be Bridesmaids because they feel obligated to do so, but either way, once you say 'yes' and become a Bridesmaid you have accepted a position - you have given your word - you have made a commitment to what most consider an honour.

As a Bridesmaid (BM) or Maid or Matron of Honour (MOH) you have a few responsibilities, including but not limited to:

- supporting the Bride & her decisions

- planning and hosting of a Bridal Shower, helping with food & assisting with games

- tag along to as many vendor meetings as possible as requested by the Bride to give your support
- remembering that this is your friends day, so showing respect & tact in all you do

- coordinating a Stag & Doe, selling tickets and attending the event

- planning & attending a Bachelorette Party

- other tasks requested by the couple (within reason of course!)

- As MOH you are the signing witness at the ceremony and you hold the Bride's bouquet for her

Being a bridesmaid is truly an honour and a job to take seriously. Being in a Wedding Party can be expensive, most Brides know this and try to accommodate the best they can by providing payment for hair or make-up on the day of, but mostly as a Bridesmaid you will incur most of the costs. You will likely need to pay for the dress, shoes, accessories (unless given as a thank you gift from the Bride), hair, make-up, Bridal Shower expenses, travel, accommodations, and a gift (typically given by all members of the wedding party to save money). On average you can expect to spend $500 plus when accepting to be a BM or MOH.

If you are unsure of your role and your duties, ask the Bride. Organized Brides will offer you an itinerary, or a friendly budget breakdown as a guide. If you don't think you can handle the responsibilities, time and expenses after you have said 'yes' don't feel bad about talking to the Bride and seeing if you can respectfully decline. Most Brides will understand and will place you in a role like Program Attendant, or they can be a reader during your ceremony so that you can still participate in the event. Whatever you do, don't become a Bad Bridesmaid.

Traits of a Bad Bridesmaid are:

- Not getting along with other members of the Wedding Party.

- Showing up late or not at all to wedding related festivities (Shower, Stag & Doe, Rehearsal)

- Dismissing the requests of the Bride ("No, I will not wear those shoes")

- Blatantly trying to upstage the Bride in any way, shape or form. It is her day, not yours.

- Getting rip roaring drunk at any wedding related festivities, especially the wedding.

- Talking poorly about the Bride, Groom or family members to other members of the Wedding Party, or anyone else for that matter.


So Brides, how do you deal with Bad Bridesmaids? There are many ways, but the best way is to be respectful, tactful and truthful. Tell (don't ask) them to discontinue their role. If this ends the friendship, better to find out now and move on. If it doesn't, as she may feel relieved to have the duty taken away, then place her among other guests so that she can still enjoy your wedding day. For more help on how to deal, give us a call for a Consultation or scour the Internet for tips.

No matter what, there are going to be people that will put a damper on your wedding planning process.
Try not to stress out too much, and keep in mind what you can do for your Bridesmaids to make the experience pleasurable for them and everyone else that's involved.
Good luck!

Perfect Picnic

I simply adore this idea of a ‘picnic wedding’. What a perfect idea for a spring or summer wedding – or even for a Bridal Shower or Rehearsal lunch.

Pick a few of your favourite food items (that are packable, and not easily perishable) and put together a delectable ‘basket’ for each of your guests. If you’re working with a caterer, they can put all this together for you using your instructions.

It’s the little touches of this simple idea that make it so perfect – customized labels, colour coordination with ribbon & tissue paper and oh-so-pretty packaging. Adorable!

To see how this was put together visit Project Wedding for details.

Wanting to do something like this for your next event? We'd love to help - we're chalk full of ideas!!

Find the "lime" to relax & enjoy the summer....

Bud Light Lime's motto right now is "The Summer State of Mind" - and we recommend that you try to do just that - enjoy the moment, enjoy the summer, and enjoy good food with friends.

If you're heading up to the cottage this long weekend, or going camping, or are about to host a bbq, birthday party, or even a bridal shower, I've got some yummy recipes made easy with the help of Bud Light Lime.

Bud Light Lime Braised Shrimp

Makes 36 pieces

½ cup Olive Oil (Light)

10 cloves Garlic (large, diced)

12 oz. Bud Light Lime

¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
36 pieces shrimp (raw, peeled, deveined)
6 limes cut in half
Salt and black pepper to taste
6 oz. Extra Dry Vermouth

In a large skillet, on high heat, add the olive oil and garlic. Cook for about 2 to 3 minutes. Add the shrimp, season with cayenne pepper, salt and black pepper. Cook 2 to 3 minutes and then add the Bud Light Lime and limes. Finish cooking the shrimp, about 5 more minutes or until shrimp are firm and white inside. Add the Vermouth and serve.

Wok Seared Lime & Teriyaki Sea Scallops

Serves; 4

12 large, fresh Sea Scallops
5 Tbsp. Olive Oil
Hot sauce to taste
Teriyaki sauce to taste
Sea salt to taste

1 Red Bell pepper, julienned

½ lb. Sugar snap peas, trimmed and cleaned
½ lb. Bean Sprouts
2 tsp. Lime juice
6 oz. Bud Light Lime

You will need to cook the Scallops in two batches, so the wok does not get crowded.

Heat the wok over high heat; add two tablespoons of olive oil. When the oil is hot add six scallops, a couple dashes of hot sauce and a couple dashes of teriyaki. Sear both sides, about 2 minutes per side until golden brown. Remove from wok and repeat cooking process for the next batch of scallops.

Turn heat down to medium, add to the wok one tablespoon of olive oil and red bell peppers, and cook for 2-3 minutes. Add the sugar snap peas, sprouts, lime juice, Bud light Lime and several generous dashes of teriyaki. Cook for 2-3 minutes. Return all the scallops to the wok, gently toss, season with sea salt to your taste and serve.

When I think of kickin' back in the summer, I can't help but think of "Toes" by the Zac Brown Band.

Cheers to great food, good times and enjoying a "summer state of mind".

* be responsible, don't drink and drive
* recipes courtesy of Edelman PR for Bud Light Lime