"We gotta talk...."

No one likes hearing the words, "we gotta talk..." Usually those words are interpreted as trouble - but let me tell you, if you don't have this talk, you may very well have trouble - in your marriage.

Weddings are fantastic - they are fun, full of love and laughter and are really truly just one big party to proclaim your love and adoration for one another. What comes after the wedding is a marriage - and that is meant to last the rest of your life. So even though you are doing so much planning for your wedding, be sure to slot in some time to plan for your marriage as well.

I came across this article the other day on the Canadian Living website - "10 things to talk about before you get married" and think that all couples should have this chat prior to tying the knot.

Here are the 10 things that they say you should talk about:

1) Decision making.
What is important to you both and what is your communication style. It needs to work for both of you - and a little compromise goes a long way.

2) Chore & task sharing.
Responsibilities. Do you take care of the bill payments, but he does all the yard work? Do you do the laundry and he takes out the trash? Having a game plan for your life tasks and duties will help keep the arguments at bay.

3) Kids.
To have or not to have, that is the question.

4) Religion & values.
Do you share the same values, goals and beliefs? This question will also impact #3.

5) Family.
You can pick your friends but not your family. However, you've picked your partner, so remember that when it comes to family politics and dramatics. Chat about how much time you plan to spend with each others family, especially for holidays, birthdays and whatnot.

6) Careers.
Are you both established in your careers, or will you want a change in the future? Do one of you have to travel a lot for work? Will you relocate?

7) Sex.
You've gotta talk about your wants and desires in this category too. Life brings on different situations and stress levels, so you've got to let your partner know that intimacy is important to you no matter what. Also, I'd use this time to inform them of your thoughts on open-relationships and affairs if you haven't already done so.

8) Finances.
Money can cause a lot of issues for couples - especially when one makes more than the other. As a married couple, you need to decide if you will have a joint bank account, or keep your assets separate. How will you save for the future, and how do you plan on spending your earnings together? Trips, kids, etc.

9) Time together and apart.
You still need to have your girls nights and 'me time' even though you are going to be a Mrs.
Be sure to talk to your man about what both of your expectations about free time are. A lot of time this is where resentment starts - when you feel alone in your relationship because your partner doesn't spend their free time with you. We want to avoid this, have the talk.

10) Drugs, alcohol and gambling.
How do you both feel about these? Can you partake but in a healthy manner? Are there issues with one of these already present in your relationship?

So, have the talk with your partner. I suggest not to have it all at once, unless you have a few hours to invest in it. But, discussing your views on these 10 things will prepare you for your life ahead with this person. It will also act like a refresher for those of you that have been together for a long time and might have talked about some of these things earlier on in your relationship. Maybe your views have changed, and that's okay. People change and grow as they go through life - it's just that with a marriage, you are to change and grow together.

Good luck!

*the list was comprised from the article featured on Canadian Living, however the comments below each headline are my own opinions.

Do you have Bride Brain?

Is your wedding the only thing you are thinking about these days? Do you sit at work and daydream about centrepieces, and unique favours for your guests? Most Brides during the planning process are always thinking about their wedding in one way, shape or form.

"I shouldn't eat that ice cream, I have a dress to fit into"
"Will my bridesmaid look good in that colour?"
"How much money do we have left in our budget for decorations?"
"I love that band! I have GOT to book them for our reception!"

For the next 12 months or less, you will be thinking about your wedding in some way or another. It's normal.
This is the biggest day of your life, and you want it to be perfect. So, make notes, doodle your ideas on paper, create inspiration boards on-line, join bridal chat forums like BridalTweet, and read wedding & event related blogs. With all of the information you've gathered, all of the ideas you've seen, read, heard and collected, you are bound to have a little bit of what we in the industry call, "Bride Brain".

Catherine from For Your Event Planning posted this image in a blog post on Jan 8th. Can you relate?

It's okay to have Bride Brain - as long as you can still focus on other things like your career, your relationship with your fiance, your family and other social gatherings not directly related to your up-coming wedding. Have no shame in thinking, talking and dreaming about your wedding - that is just one of the many special things about being a Bride. You are only a Bride for a short while in your lifetime, so enjoy it and make the most of the time you have being the centre of attention - just be sure not to get carried away and become a Bridezilla.

Next post, we'll show you the symptoms of being a Bridezilla. Will you need a prescription?
Check back to find out!