The R.S.V.P card

Guest Blogger: Rebecca Leary from Wedding Paper Divas

Find this invitation & RSVP card set from Wedding Paper Divas

At the very least, wedding invitations include the actual invitation and the R.S.V.P. card. While the wedding invitation sets the tone for the celebration and provides the who, what, when, where and why of the event; what exactly is the R.S.V.P. card? Sure, we know that it means to respond to the sender with whether or not you plan on attending the wedding – but is it perhaps something more?

First, let’s take care of the basics. R.S.V.P. is French for Répondez S'il Vous Plaît, which literally means: respond, if you please. Or simply, please respond. Please note: it is redundant to write: Please R.S.V.P., which would translate to: Please respond, if you please. Now, is the R.S.V.P. card something more than a count of attendance? 

Well yes, and here’s how:

For the Couple
Whether your budget is $5,000 or $50,000, making sure it’s allocated properly and not wasted is a high priority for every couple and the R.S.V.P. card gives you a certain amount of budget control. It is with this card that you can keep a handle on wedding costs by simply filling in the number of guests and/or writing their name(s) on the M line. This way there are no surprise guests and if you want an evening without children, it politely lets guests know they need to make the proper arrangements. Also, if you are offering menu choices, you can offer guests the option to select a single entrée rather than providing dual entrees, letting you make sure the appropriate amount is prepared. Finally, if you are hosting multiple events, simply list all of them on the R.S.V.P. card and keep track of attendance all in one place.

Beyond the budget, the R.S.V.P. card helps build excitement for the day to come. As you start getting them back in the mail, you’ll find that guests, both those attending and those who cannot, often write a personal note of congratulations. Compiled into a book, box or binder, these messages are yet another keepsake of your special day.  

Wedding Paper Divas

For Guests
It is an honor and a privilege to witness one of life’s most intimate moments between two people. As a guest, it is helpful to pay close attention to the subtle clues on the wedding invitation – location, attire, wording, etc. – and the R.S.V.P card, observing the same elements as noted above. Every last detail was carefully selected to let you, as a guest, know what to expect in accordance to the couples wishes – all in an effort to ensure everyone has a great time.

After all, if it was your wedding, you’d expect the same from your guests.

As a final note, to account for those who forget to fill in their name on the R.S.V.P. card, (yes it does happen) simply make a numbered list of the guests and write the corresponding number on the R.S.V.P envelope by the stamp. It’s an inconspicuous spot and will save you the trouble of trying to figure out who sent it.

Author Bio: Rebecca Leary is a seasoned writer and guest author who enjoys connecting people with thoughtful products, services and ideas as they relate to the wedding and event planning industries.

Black is back!

While in the process of the re-brand for Bride's Butler I've been looking at all kinds of designs, layouts, colours and fonts the past few months and let me just tell you, it's been hard to decide! There are so many beautiful designs out there, and waaaay too many fonts! But, it seemed that no matter how much I looked, and how much I saw that I liked, I always seemed to be drawn to the chalkboard style.

So then for fun, I started looking at invitation styles on Wedding Paper Divas and ta-da! Found some designed with the chalkboard style. Here is one of my favs..

And then I kept looking, and I saw so many beautiful invitations I just couldn't stop clicking through from one page to the next. I noticed that there were quite a few invites that were black and it got me thinking...I know that black has made a major come-back into weddings through the bridesmaid dresses, details and embellishments on the Bride, but I wasn't sure if it would make it's way to the stationery. But, why wouldn't it? Black is classic. Black makes a statement. Black is back!

What I love most about these invites is that you don't need a whole lot of colour, or any at all to show your style and get your message across in a beautiful, artistic and classy way.

What do you think? Do you think wedding invitations need colour? They are the first thing guests see from the wedding and help set the tone for the event...but from looking at these invites, I say go for it! Black is back, and I like it!

The Art of Calligraphy

Is the art of calligraphy a thing of the past? Your mother, aunt and maybe even your older sister or cousin might remember hand writing all of their escort cards, place cards, etc for their wedding. Nowadays computers print most things for us as a variety of fonts, sizes and ink colours are available. So I gotta ask, would you use calligraphy? It's timeless and sets the tone for an elegant affair. It's what the Royals would use, and is oh-so-classy.

If you live in Hamilton, Ontario you can reach out to the Hamilton Calligraphy Guild to see if they have a member that could work with you for your wedding stationery. Or, you could hire a professional like Diane from "Calligraphy by Diane" who's located in Toronto and has hand written calligraphy for many Brides for their menu cards, programs and more.

With vintage weddings remaining popular, you might just want to consider calligraphy over the computer. Just a thought.

Happy planning!!

*Images from Calligraphy by Diane

Be Our Guest

To invite a plus one, or not to invite a plus one – that has been a debatable question for quite some time.

If you’re on a budget, the first way to save is to cut the guest list. A good rule of thumb is; if you haven’t had a sit down meal with them in a year, then they shouldn’t be invited to your wedding. This of course doesn’t apply to relatives or close friends that live in another Province/State/Country. Best thing to do is create your list of everyone you want to celebrate with (including your side and his side – get names from both sets of parents too!) and then make some cuts. If you really have to struggle with the decision, let that show you that you likely wouldn’t be upset if they RSVP’d “No”, so save yourself the possible added cost and just don’t invite them.

Bet I sound pretty cut throat right now, huh? Wait, there’s more.

Now that you have your list of guests you must have at your wedding, you have to figure out what to do about those sans relationship. This poses the question of inviting a plus one.

Here’s my take: If your guest is currently single and isn’t dating anyone for more than 6 months, then they shouldn't get a plus one.  If they have been in a relationship for longer than 6 months, then they should be invited – you wouldn’t have wanted someone to exclude you when you were with your hubs-to-be at the 6 month mark, right?

Plus, I think it’s silly to offer a “plus one” just so your guest can invite someone they are casually dating (and you’ve likely never met) just so that they can have a date. If you invite all of your single guests on their own, then volia, they’ve got company – and you could be a possible matchmaker!

Now, I know that this might sound mean, but if you're trying to cut costs, less people = less money spent. So, if you feel that you have to allow your guest to have a date so that they don't respond "No", or are embarrassed to show up stag, or are going to be bored - then be all means invite them with a plus one. Just know you might have to reduce your spending in other areas like flowers, decor, etc to make up the difference.

When inviting a plus one, it’s standard etiquette to get their full name – so get on the phone, or send an email so you can properly address the invitation to your guest and their date. This is VERY important for guests that have a serious relationship by means of living with or being engaged. You MUST address them by their name – they are an official couple. Stating “ & guest” is very informal, and it’s rude to be referred to as that in the seating chart and or place cards. Eeek!

So, will you or won’t you include the plus one for your single guests? No matter what you choose, stick with it and don’t allow some guests to bring a date and others can’t. You should either follow what we’ve suggested, or make your own rules, but no matter what, be firm. When your guest gets to plan their wedding, they’ll see for themselves that the plus one question isn’t so easy after all.

Happy planning!

Hip Ink Custom Invitations

One of our Friendors, Sarah of Hip Ink has recently launched an Etsy store. If you're a Bride planning your wedding and you don't know what Etsy is, I suggest you check it out. The website is like an online flea market and you can visit a bunch of different suppliers of almost any product! Many Brides and Planners turn to this site for favours, wedding party gifts, unique jewelery and stationery.

Sarah is known for her Couture line of custom invites. She designs each one with the clients requests in mind and creates unique one-of-a-kind invitations and stationery for their special day. Having a specially made invite can get expensive, so to accommodate and continue to share her love of design, Sarah launched the Etsy store.

There are a variety of pre-designed invitations available on her storefront that you can choose from and then edit to display all of your details. We especially like these two:

Check out all the other designs she offers here. And, if you want to meet with Sarah to design your very own stationery line for your special day, visit her website and drop her a line or email.

Your invitations are what sets the tone, mood and theme for your wedding, so be sure that they are personalized, unique and display your personalities.

Are you a book lover?

If you love books, or if you're fiance does, or heck, if you met in a library or college - here are a few great ways to incorporate books into your wedding day!

Guest Book

As seen on Every Last Detail Blog and Wedzu.

Centrepieces



As seen on 2000 Dollar Budget Blog & Offbeat Bride.



Invitations/Programs





Escort Cards

As seen on United With Love & Deb Lindsey Photography

"True love stories never have endings"

Facebook Wedding Etiquette

Facebook has more than 800 million active users. That's a lot of likes, wall posts, photo uploads and tags.
Like most things in life, there are certain rules to follow for certain tasks.
Do you know how to properly use Facebook during your planning process?

Here are some guidelines when using the popular social media site:



Announcing your engagement.

It's totally normal to want to shout it from the rooftops and Facebook is the perfect platform to do so. Update your status to "we're engaged" or "is gonna be a Mrs!" to tell all of your friends about the proposal. You can also upload a picture of your diamond, or if you've got pics or video of him popping the question, by all means share it.

Sharing some of the details.

Feel free to share your wedding date via a status update, but be sure to keep it simple and to the point. Not all of your 100+ friends on FB will be invited to your big day, so be a little sensitive to that. And of course, change your relationship status from "in a relationship" to "engaged!!"

A lot of Brides like to keep everyone in the know about their planning process, and again, feel free to do this with your status, but be sure not to go overboard with Bride Brain.

Sharing a countdown to your special day is okay too - just try to stick with the landmarks of one year, 6 months, 1 week and 1 day. Seeing a constant countdown for most, is annoying.

Proper etiquette would be that you don't post your Registry information online. Getting a gift for getting married is a privilege, and not a right. If people (guests) want to buy you something, they will ask you, your fiance, a family member or a friend.

After your wedding feel free to brag a little. Heck, brag a lot. Post your pictures, thank your guests and  change your relationship status from "engaged" to "MARRIED!"
Just make sure to keep everything positive, do not complain about guest behaviour, or how much your new mother-in-law got on your nerves.

Wrap up all your wedding talk within 6 months, or less. As much as you're stoked to now be a Mrs, there are other things that should be important in your life as well.

Invitations.

Do not by any means invite friends/family/co-workers to your wedding using Facebook. Send out a proper invite with an RSVP card for them to reply.

Bridal Showers, Stag & Does and Bachelorette/Bachelor Parties can have Facebook Event pages to keep everyone in the loop, but we still advise that you send out proper invites or personal emails to all invited.



Incorporate FB into your Bridal Shower with customized cookies!

 Vendors.

Use Facebook to help you find vendors - that is if you don't have a Wedding Planner. And be sure to "like" the Fan Pages of the vendors you book with. Not only does it show support, but you just might see your wedding crop up in their status updates or albums.

While we're chatting about vendors, make note that it is a big no-no to post anything negative about your vendors through the social media site. We know that planning a wedding can be stressful, but please do not use Facebook to bad mouth anyone. Send an email or pick up the phone and make a call instead if you're not happy with their services/products.

On the day of.

Do not log on Facebook on your wedding day. You can change your status and upload photos the day after, or even when you get back from your honeymoon. Enjoy the day and stay offline.

Posting as a guest.

Most of your guests will post pictures from your big day on Facebook and tag you in the pictures. If this bothers you tell your friends that. Some people are private and do not want memories from their special day to go viral. There's no harm in placing a small note on your ceremony programs that you wish to be shown any pictures prior to posting - or that pictures simply aren't posted. Remember though, you can't control what others post, but you can ask - there's nothing wrong with asking and making that request.

However, as a guest - do your best to be respectful to the newlyweds and only post pictures that display them in their best light. Do the same for members of the wedding party - no one wants to see the Best Man making out with the Grooms sister. Tisk, tisk.

Now, go on....log on to Facebook and "like" us - The Bride's Butler.

Wedding Details: Escort Cards

Details aren't just about placement of decor and the colour you choose - they are also about logistics and flow.

When planning your wedding you have to take into account how you want your guests to move around your event. You give them an invite so they know what time and where to show up. You give them a ceremony program to help guide them along through the nuptuials, and you lay out escort cards to direct them to their seats.

Escort Cards:

Sometimes your Invitation Specialist can produce a package for you that includes all the stationery items you need for your wedding: save the date, invites, menu cards, programs, escort cards and thank you notes. You can have the escort cards hand written (by you or a calligrapher) or typed in the same font as the rest of your pieces.

We like it when we see different and unique escort cards. Like these:

Wooden airplane cards



Winery Wedding? Use corks!

Image from the Knot.

Spice Rub Escort Cards + Favors courtesy of Ruffled

How are you planning on tying your theme, colour and style of your wedding into your escort cards?

This is a detail where you can have fun and creative! This is also a detail that all of your guests will see....as there are plenty of details that they simply won't see or notice.

Need ideas for your escort cards? Visit our Friendor page and shout out to one of our recommended Invitation Specialists. They'd be happy to chat! Be sure to tell them we sent you!

 





Wedding Details: Invitations

"It's all in the details."

This is so true when it comes to weddings - or any major event for that matter. It's the small things that count; from the consistency of the colour scheme, the placement, size and height of the centrepieces, to the font on the invitations....weddings are all about the details.

Over the next few posts, we'll cover a few aspects of weddings that we think you can't skimp on the details.

Invitations:

They are the first thing your guests see regarding your wedding. The invite sets the tone, feel and look of your wedding. Some Brides want to make their own invitations, usually to save money, but that's not always the case with DYI. Factor in the materials, tools and time and you are pretty much riding even with what it would cost to outsource. We suggest that you hire a professional for your invites....let them take care of the details.

When putting together the information for your invites you need to think about the follow details:

Colour of paper(s)
Weight (thickness) of paper(s) - remember, the heavier the paper, the sturdier, but more expensive to mail.
Texture of paper(s)
Font type & colour
Style of invite - pocket fold, gate fold, tri-fold, etc
Size of invite - 4x6, 5x7

Then there's the details of wording. You need to give your guests all the information they need, like:

The basics - who, when, what, where and why
Time - of ceremony & reception
RSVP - phone, email or card
Directions
Menu choice (optional)
Attire requirements (optional)

Once you've made your decision on all those details, then it's time to put it all together. Working with an Invitation Specialist can make this wedding detail less daunting. Once the invites are completed, you will see, it's all about the little things....

 * Invitations by:

www.hipink.com

Bridal Shower Etiquette (for hosts)

This seems to be the time that many Brides are having Bridal Showers gearing up for their July, August & September weddings. A Bridal Shower is another festivity that is held to celebrate the marriage, much like the Stag & Doe, Bachelorette & Bachelor Parties and Rehearsal Dinner. The Bridal Shower is typically just for the Bride, although some couples now are having co-ed showers so the Groom can be 'showered' with gifts as well.

If you're a family member of the Bride-to-be or in the wedding party and are hosting a Bridal Shower,
here are some etiquette tips to help you:

1. Immediate family members should not host the event

Mothers, Future Mother-in-laws and sisters should not host the event. A cousin, Aunt, family friend or best friend should be the ones to host. Usually a Bridesmaid, or the Maid of Honour hosts the Bridal Shower.
The reason why this is frowned upon is because a Shower is given with the expectation of receiving gifts and it's in poor taste to host a party that between the lines is read as "give my daughter/sister some gifts please".

2. Only those that are invited to the wedding should be invited to the Shower

As mentioned above that Showers are a 'required gift' event, it is proper to only invite those that are invited to your special day. Ask the Bride for the wedding guest list, and perhaps go through it together with her to help build the invite list. If the Shower is a surprise, chat with the Mother of the Bride & Groom for guest names.

3. Write the Thank You card envelopes yourself

So many times we see guests arrive to a Bridal Shower and are instructed to write their name and mailing address on an envelope. We get that everyone wants an easy task concerning the wedding, but it's not very respectable to the guests. If the couple has sent, or will send a wedding invite to them, they already have their mailing address, so encourage the Bride to take the time to write the envelopes herself, or make labels. Think about the effort her guests have put into being at the Shower - they have shopped for a gift, wrapped it, signed a card, drove to the event, socialized with people they might not know very well, played corny games, watched her open up gifts and most likely dressed up. Don't you think that after all of that, the Bride (with your help) can write the envelopes?
This is one of our hang-ups...can ya tell? We're just saying that a little goes a long way.

4. Say Thank You

Not only should Thank You cards be sent within the week following the Bridal Shower, but the Bride should make sure that she says thanks to each guest whether it be after she's opened their gift, or as they are leaving. No one likes an ungrateful Bride.

5. Pony Up

If you are hosting the Bridal Shower, be prepared to spend some money. Most likely the Mother(s) will offer to pay for the shower, but you should still offer to pay for some aspects as the host. You can offer to have it at your home, or to provide a few menu items, or to pay for the decorations. No matter what, try to contribute to the cost of the event, even if the Mother(s) won't allow it.

6. Dress and behave appropriately

Do not try to upstage the Bride by any means. Dress according to the season and for the location of the event. If you are a member of the wedding party, keep in mind that you are an attendant to the Bride and are there for her. By no means are we saying you are her slave or lackey, but you should always keep in mind that the Shower and any other wedding related event is for her. Enjoy being the sidekick; the conductor in the background.

Do we have you nervous now about hosting a Bridal Shower? Don't be scared - it should be fun and exciting to host an event for the Bride.

Good manners should come naturally, and because for some they don't - we offered a few tips. Whether you are hosting a Shower or attending a Shower, we'd like to know what you think about these tips. Do you agree? Did you abide them? Have you witness them being completely ignored? We'd love to know!

CopyKate #02

Invitations are the first thing your guests see for your wedding, unless you are having a Save the Date. You need to set the tone for your wedding through your invite - it helps guests decide if they are able to attend, what to wear, and what is expected of them (travel, costs, etc).

CopyKate #02: The Royal Wedding Invitation

I emailed my friend Sarah from Hip Ink to inquire about William & Kate's Royal Wedding invites, and how couples would be able to get the same look and feel of their invites for a whole lot less.


Here's what she had to say:

From photos I’ve seen, my guess would be that William and Kate’s invitation was likely printed on a 100% cotton, double-thick card, around 6×8 (which is oversize for standard invitations). I’m quite sure that the details were engraved, the royal crest stamped in gold foil and the edges of the card were gilded with actual gold. The invitation would have most certainly arrived in a double envelope.


$16-$20 per invite, plus optional personalization
The Royal Invite was an approx. 6x8 thick cotton card, engraved, with gilded edges and a foil stamped crest. You would probably expect to pay around $800-1000 for 50 invitations that were similar. The engraving - the most expensive printing method for invitations - and gilded edges are what really drive the cost up.

What was interesting about the Royal Wedding invites, at least to us in North America, was the lines where the guests names were written in (in this case it would have been the Royal Calligrapher who wrote them all). This is standard practice (personalizing invitations with guest names) in the UK and Australia, and adds a nice personal touch.

This is definitely something that you could incorporate if you're working with a custom designer. For example, I offer personalization on invitations or RSVP cards for around $.75-$1.00 each.

$9-$10 per invite
A mid-range but very similar invite that would look almost identical could be created using the same cardstock (a 100% cotton double-thick card), letterpress printing (still very chic and high-end) and a foil stamped gold crest (but skipping the gilded edging) for around $450-500 for 50 invitations.

$4-$6 per invite
The standout of this invite is the gold foil crest – keep that element and you’ve got the look. Combine a nice (but not super-thick) cardstock and digital printing, and you've got a more affordable item.

Did you notice that the RSVP information is printed in the lower left hand corner, asking guests to reply to the Lord Chamberlin’s office? As is traditional, and most formal, the reply is to be provided in writing – no email or phone calls here, no little mail back cards – old-school all the way. Also, no reception info. Separate invitations were mailed out for those invited to the afternoon reception held by the Queen, as well as the evening reception held by Prince Charles, and those invitations have not been made public.

So, there you have it. You can recreate Wills & Kate's invites at any price level and still get the same regal look. Contact Sarah for info on your wedding invites, or if you're working with us for Full Wedding Planning we will be able to refer you to vendors like Sarah that offer discounts to our clients.

Cheerio!

When it comes to stationary....

When it comes to stationary, I like to refer clients to professionals.

If you're not the DYI type and want to have someone else manage this task, then I suggest you check out Cheri from Invitations by SanSheira's. Cheri works with The Bride's Butler and is very creative and fun to work with. She makes all of her invites by hand, and dedicates her time to every couple.

When you meet with your stationary specialist, it's best to have your wedding colours and theme chosen. Knowing the style and feel you want for your wedding helps formulate the perfect invite. The invitation is the first thing from your wedding your guests see - so it helps set the mood and tone of the event.

Is it a formal affair? More casual? A candle light ceremony, or a bunch vow renewal? Weddings come in all shapes and sizes - and so do invites! Try to bundle your invitation order to include all pieces like the RSVP card, direction card, accommodation note and all envelopes. You may also want to order thank you cards along with your invites if your photographer doesn't offer it in their package. One thing to remember when choosing and ordering your wedding stationary is that it should all be consistent with one another. All pieces should reflect the same image/style/feel, etc of your wedding.

Will you be picking your invites based on your theme, cultural background, or just simply by your budget?

Work together with your Wedding Planner and your Stationary Specialist to create your own unique
and personalized invites. It's one of the many tasks in the planning process that is very fun and allows for creativity.

Shown is a Thank You card done by Veronica of Cinnamon Saturday who works with Cheri. This is a cute and whimsical way to take a wedding picture and make it unique.

How will you choose to inform your guests of the style and theme of your wedding? Colours? Textured paper? Ribbons or Jewels?

It's up to you....and your fiance too of course. :)