This seems to be the time that many Brides are having Bridal Showers gearing up for their July, August & September weddings. A Bridal Shower is another festivity that is held to celebrate the marriage, much like the Stag & Doe, Bachelorette & Bachelor Parties and Rehearsal Dinner. The Bridal Shower is typically just for the Bride, although some couples now are having co-ed showers so the Groom can be 'showered' with gifts as well.
If you're a family member of the Bride-to-be or in the wedding party and are hosting a Bridal Shower,
here are some etiquette tips to help you:
1. Immediate family members should not host the event
Mothers, Future Mother-in-laws and sisters should not host the event. A cousin, Aunt, family friend or best friend should be the ones to host. Usually a Bridesmaid, or the Maid of Honour hosts the Bridal Shower.
The reason why this is frowned upon is because a Shower is given with the expectation of receiving gifts and it's in poor taste to host a party that between the lines is read as "give my daughter/sister some gifts please".
2. Only those that are invited to the wedding should be invited to the Shower
As mentioned above that Showers are a 'required gift' event, it is proper to only invite those that are invited to your special day. Ask the Bride for the wedding guest list, and perhaps go through it together with her to help build the invite list. If the Shower is a surprise, chat with the Mother of the Bride & Groom for guest names.
3. Write the Thank You card envelopes yourself
So many times we see guests arrive to a Bridal Shower and are instructed to write their name and mailing address on an envelope. We get that everyone wants an easy task concerning the wedding, but it's not very respectable to the guests. If the couple has sent, or will send a wedding invite to them, they already have their mailing address, so encourage the Bride to take the time to write the envelopes herself, or make labels. Think about the effort her guests have put into being at the Shower - they have shopped for a gift, wrapped it, signed a card, drove to the event, socialized with people they might not know very well, played corny games, watched her open up gifts and most likely dressed up. Don't you think that after all of that, the Bride (with your help) can write the envelopes?
This is one of our hang-ups...can ya tell? We're just saying that a little goes a long way.
4. Say Thank You
Not only should Thank You cards be sent within the week following the Bridal Shower, but the Bride should make sure that she says thanks to each guest whether it be after she's opened their gift, or as they are leaving. No one likes an ungrateful Bride.
5. Pony Up
If you are hosting the Bridal Shower, be prepared to spend some money. Most likely the Mother(s) will offer to pay for the shower, but you should still offer to pay for some aspects as the host. You can offer to have it at your home, or to provide a few menu items, or to pay for the decorations. No matter what, try to contribute to the cost of the event, even if the Mother(s) won't allow it.
6. Dress and behave appropriately
Do not try to upstage the Bride by any means. Dress according to the season and for the location of the event. If you are a member of the wedding party, keep in mind that you are an attendant to the Bride and are there for her. By no means are we saying you are her slave or lackey, but you should always keep in mind that the Shower and any other wedding related event is for her. Enjoy being the sidekick; the conductor in the background.
Do we have you nervous now about hosting a Bridal Shower? Don't be scared - it should be fun and exciting to host an event for the Bride.
Good manners should come naturally, and because for some they don't - we offered a few tips. Whether you are hosting a Shower or attending a Shower, we'd like to know what you think about these tips. Do you agree? Did you abide them? Have you witness them being completely ignored? We'd love to know!
