Be Our Guest

To invite a plus one, or not to invite a plus one – that has been a debatable question for quite some time.

If you’re on a budget, the first way to save is to cut the guest list. A good rule of thumb is; if you haven’t had a sit down meal with them in a year, then they shouldn’t be invited to your wedding. This of course doesn’t apply to relatives or close friends that live in another Province/State/Country. Best thing to do is create your list of everyone you want to celebrate with (including your side and his side – get names from both sets of parents too!) and then make some cuts. If you really have to struggle with the decision, let that show you that you likely wouldn’t be upset if they RSVP’d “No”, so save yourself the possible added cost and just don’t invite them.

Bet I sound pretty cut throat right now, huh? Wait, there’s more.

Now that you have your list of guests you must have at your wedding, you have to figure out what to do about those sans relationship. This poses the question of inviting a plus one.

Here’s my take: If your guest is currently single and isn’t dating anyone for more than 6 months, then they shouldn't get a plus one.  If they have been in a relationship for longer than 6 months, then they should be invited – you wouldn’t have wanted someone to exclude you when you were with your hubs-to-be at the 6 month mark, right?

Plus, I think it’s silly to offer a “plus one” just so your guest can invite someone they are casually dating (and you’ve likely never met) just so that they can have a date. If you invite all of your single guests on their own, then volia, they’ve got company – and you could be a possible matchmaker!

Now, I know that this might sound mean, but if you're trying to cut costs, less people = less money spent. So, if you feel that you have to allow your guest to have a date so that they don't respond "No", or are embarrassed to show up stag, or are going to be bored - then be all means invite them with a plus one. Just know you might have to reduce your spending in other areas like flowers, decor, etc to make up the difference.

When inviting a plus one, it’s standard etiquette to get their full name – so get on the phone, or send an email so you can properly address the invitation to your guest and their date. This is VERY important for guests that have a serious relationship by means of living with or being engaged. You MUST address them by their name – they are an official couple. Stating “ & guest” is very informal, and it’s rude to be referred to as that in the seating chart and or place cards. Eeek!

So, will you or won’t you include the plus one for your single guests? No matter what you choose, stick with it and don’t allow some guests to bring a date and others can’t. You should either follow what we’ve suggested, or make your own rules, but no matter what, be firm. When your guest gets to plan their wedding, they’ll see for themselves that the plus one question isn’t so easy after all.

Happy planning!