4 days to go!

4 days to go until Brooke & Richard are Husband and Wife!

Since last year I've been working with this awesome couple to help them plan their wedding. They have been wonderful to work with and I can't wait to bring all of our ideas, plans and hard work to life on Saturday!

Getting hitched in Paris, Ontario, this couple chose some of the finest vendors to work with, and I will definitely be posting pictures and details about their big day in the upcoming weeks.

If you want to stress less like Brooke & Richard, book us for your 2013 wedding. We're offering 30% off Day of Coordination services on all bookings prior to Nov 30/12.

Paying in full may cost you

One of the best things you can do is book a vendor that was recommended from your Coordinator or a family/friend. Positive referrals are fabulous for a vendor, and for a Bride, is one of the best ways to reduce stress.

Recently I've heard from two of my summer Brides (Day of Coordination services) that they're working with vendors (both florists) that are asking or had asked for payment in full. I strongly recommend that you DO NOT pay upfront. I understand that some vendors like florists, invitation specialists and bakers need to purchase items prior to your wedding day to fulfill your purchase, however, I believe that this should be something that they factor into their business model and how they conduct their services.

Most vendors, like myself, require a deposit to secure the services and date. The deposit is usually non-refundable and is likely 50% of the total. If this is the case, you should pay the remaining 50% on the day of your wedding. Remember, you have not bought a gift card that you pay upfront for to use at a later date - you have reserved (via a deposit) services that are to be executed on your wedding day, therefor the vendor should be paid then.

Oftentimes if the total cost of the services is quite large, i.e: over $2,000 there may be a 2nd payment due prior to your wedding (25%). This payment shows your commitment to the contract, and their promise to fulfill. This 2nd payment not only reduces balance yet to be paid, but helps pay for any work, communication and time the vendor has put forth to date.

When you have a Day of Coordinator working with you on our wedding day, it's best to give them the remaining balances to give to the vendors when they show up and or deliver your order. It's always best to pay the florist once the centrepieces are placed and the bouquets are delivered. It's always best to pay the baker once the cake has been delivered and set up on the cake table as stated in the contract. It's always best to pay the DJ once they have arrived, set-up and conducted a sound check. A contract is a legally binding document, but if the services executed or delivered are not the same noted, then you have reason to request a refund or a change in the total price.

Most vendors should not have a problem with being paid the remaining balance upon arrival. If they do, perhaps that should be a sign that you look elsewhere. When meeting with a vendor for the first time, discuss their payment method and timeline. Do they only accept cash or cheque? Can you pay your deposit using credit or debit and then give the remainder in cash? Do they want it all upfront, or in 2 to 3 amounts?

No one wants to pay in full and then not get the services or product they paid for. So, my advice to you is, wait to pay on the day of if you can. If you do pay upfront, get everything in writing, hang on to your email communications and be sure to review the contract in length prior to signing off and handing over funds.

A good vendor will work with and for you - not against you.

For our Day of Coordination services, we are more than happy to provide our clients with a few vendor referrals. Nothing makes us happier than to work with other industry professionals that we know, trust and have faith in.

Family Matters

As your Day of Coordinator, it is my duty and responsibility to make sure that your plans and ideas for your wedding are brought to life. It's my job to make sure that the timeline that we agreed upon together is followed to the best of our abilities. It is me who will communicate updates and changes on your behalf with your vendors such as your DJ, Photographer, Venue Coordinator and Florist. I'm the middle man between you and well, pretty much everyone else....including your family members.

If you have an over-bearing parent, or an Aunt/Uncle/Wedding Party Member that has to have their say, please do us all a favour and inform them about me prior to your wedding day. You should tell your immediate family and wedding party that you've hired a Day of Coordinator so that your wedding goes smoothly and on time. To be realistic, things will change, the timeline will become a guideline, but in the end, that's my worry - not yours, or your parents.

I understand that parents and family members want the best for you for your special day, but assure them that we've discussed your wedding in length and that everything is taken care of. Tell your family and wedding party that you want them to enjoy the day as well, and that if they have a suggestion or concern that they should see your Coordinator. It's our job to be quick thinkers, problem solvers, negotiators and mediators.

If you have someone that you think will interfere on your wedding day, it is definitely a good idea to hire a Day of Coordinator. Let us be the bad guy, so that you can be the blushing Bride and simply enjoy your wedding day with your husband.




** We are currently offering $200 off remaining dates in April, May & June for Day of Coordination **

Taking care of your vendors

Attention almost newlyweds! We know that a wedding is a major expense, and the planning process can be a major pain in the you know what – but, you should be sure to think about how you’re going to treat your vendors.

Sure, they are there to provide a service for you, and they are being paid for that service, so what more do we want, right? Well…there are a few things that vendors are very appreciative of.


There is no such thing as too much information.

Especially if you have a Wedding Coordinator. We want to know all of the details, the timing and your big picture plans for your special day. We want to know who’s where, when and for how long. We want to know who needs to be paid, how much and for what. We want to know your weather back up plans, your set-up plans and your tear down/clean up plans. We want to know it all – and please, tell us!

We will provide you with helpful tools to keep you organized and to help you relay this information to us, but I always tell all my clients – “there is no such thing as too much information.”


Tips.

Tips aren’t always manageable, especially if the couple is on a tight budget, but they are always welcomed.
Be sure to check your contracts as most vendors roll in gratuity in the final bill. If not, it is always nice to say "thank you" to the vendors that go above and beyond your expecations.

Here is a guideline from Real Simple, and if you're still unsure, ask your Wedding Planner/Coordinator:

Bartenders: 10 percent of the total liquor bill (to be split among them)

Catering manager: $200+

Coat check attendants: $1 to $2 per guest

Hairstylist: 15 to 20 percent

Hotel chambermaids: $2 to $5 per room; $10 to $15 if you used a suite as your dressing room

Limo or bus drivers: 15 percent

Makeup artist: 15 to 20 percent

Musicians: 15 percent of fee for ceremony musicians; $25 to $50 per musician for reception

Photographer/videographer: If you’re paying a flat fee with no overtime, $100

Wedding planner: 15 percent of fee

Fuel the engine.

Your vendors are working hard for you, so be sure to give them the fuel they need by providing them with a meal. If your vendors are on site during dinner, then they should eat too. You don't have to serve them the same meal as you serve your guests, but do provide them with something. Also, make sure they know how they can get a drink (non-alcoholic, any good vendor will not drink while on the job) so that they can stay hydrated and alert and execute fabulous services for you.

Also, note that your Wedding Coordinator will most likely want to sit in the room that your dinner and speeches are occuring in. We know that this isn't always possible as seating is limited, but it is beneficial to help us keep a watchful eye on the time. So, it's best to have a vendor table for your DJ, Photographer, Videographer and Coordinator. But, like mentioned, if you don't want them in the same room, be sure that there is a lounge or somewhere they can sit and grab a bite to eat.

Saying Thank You.

Yes, you gave them a tip, and you fed them, but a really great way to say 'thank you' is to include your vendors in your list of cards to be sent out. A lot of vendors use these cards in their portfolio or display them in their office/showroom/store. If you don't want to mail them an actual card, send them a nice email telling them how they helped you on your special day and include a photo too if you have one!
Saying thank you the old fashioned way goes a long way.


Referrals.

In keeping with saying 'thank you', one of the biggest ways you can do this and show your appreciation is to recommend them to a family member or friend that is getting married. We always love booking new clients who've been referred to us from previous clients. It's a pat on the back and confirmation that we left a positive impression and did a good job.
Plus, we always love seeing clients from the past at the wedding of the referal.


*Blog post is generated from personal opinion. Picture provided by Diane Morris from Kelly & Mike's wedding 2010.
*Tip list formulated by Real Simple. Visit their website for more suggestions as some were removed for this post.

Book 'Day Of' for 2012 today!

We just completed our last “Day of Coordination” for 2011 and are really looking forward to the weddings we have booked for 2012!


If you haven’t booked services with us for next year, we suggest that you do it before the year comes to a close as we’re making some changes to our services and prices.

“Day of Coordination” is our most popular service and we’ll continue to offer it, but our rate for 8-10 hours of Wedding Day Management including additional hours for meetings and assistance will increase – so book today!




A more detailed look into some of the things we take care of as your Day of Coordinator:

- Set-up (escort cards, place cards, money box, guest book, gift table, favours, cake table, etc)

- Clean- up (packing up gifts/cards into a vehicle or hotel room or lockable area and removing minor décor)

- Communication with vendors 48-24 hours prior to your big day to ensure that you get the services you agreed upon and are paying for

- Distribution of balances for vendors arriving on the day of (DJ, Photographer, Limo, Cake, etc)

- Timeline – we keep you on time and stress free. We prompt you for all of the event logistics like the speeches, cake cutting, etc

- We’re there working for you as your personal Bride’s Butler – forgot something? We got it. Need more of something? We can take care of it.



Call or email us so that we can meet for a complimentary coffee & chat to discuss how you can benefit from “Day of Coordination” services.

Working with vendors....

specifically a Wedding Coordinator can be like learning a foreign language for some...daunting.
It doesn't need to be that way.

There are a few vendors that like to show up to an event, do their thing and leave. Some haven’t worked with a Coordinator, therefore don’t know what to expect. Others have and loved it, and others have and hated it.

When a Wedding Coordinator is onsite, it’s their job to make sure that everyone is doing what they were booked and paid for doing. Our job is not to be bossy, but to help keep things on track and to avoid as many mishaps as possible.

With executing a major event like a wedding, there are lots of logistics and key players involved. A Wedding Coordinator is there to be your point person, your extra set of hands, your runner and your friend. We are not there to make your job more difficult, but a whole lot easier.

It’s always best when I get to work with wedding vendors that I’ve worked with before. This way, we know how each other work, how we like to be talked to and handled. Vendors that appreciate the hard work that a coordinator does are always welcomed in our books. All vendors are there to work for the couple and to provide top notch service, but it is us that make sure the newlyweds get what they planned for and ultimately paid for.

Prior to the wedding, we sit down with the Bride and go over every last detail. We cover the timeline thoroughly, focusing on things like setup & delivery times and the execution of key events like the photo shoot and bouquet toss. If the Vendors are all on the same page (timeline) then it’s a win/win for us all, including the newlyweds. Wedding Coordinators are the middleman between the vendors and the couple. Vendors should know to come to us first for questions or concerns, for most of the time we have the answer or a solution. The couple have hired us so that they can enjoy their special day without many interruptions and without having a boat load of people asking them questions. Come to us, we’re here to help.

Vendors, when you’re approached by a Wedding Coordinator prior to the wedding (as most of us drop an email or phone call prior to the day to introduce ourselves) please welcome us with open arms and not a roll of the eyes and a grunt. We will do our best to stay out of your way if that is how you prefer to work, or we will be right alongside you if that’s what you need to go above and beyond.

So, I guess what we’re saying here is – let’s all work together to provide the best service we can for the couple. If they didn’t book you from a referral, they have no idea how you work and what kind of service you will provide...and that can be scary for some Brides. Most Brides that hire a Day of Coordinator are Type A personalities. They are organized, detail oriented and want what they want – and we love them for that!

A Coordinator is your friend, not your foe. Plus, we’re also great for referrals for future clients, so if we work well together, there may be future bookings.

To learn more about what exactly a Wedding Coordinator does, check out Ehow’s article here.

Facebook Wedding Etiquette

Facebook has more than 800 million active users. That's a lot of likes, wall posts, photo uploads and tags.
Like most things in life, there are certain rules to follow for certain tasks.
Do you know how to properly use Facebook during your planning process?

Here are some guidelines when using the popular social media site:



Announcing your engagement.

It's totally normal to want to shout it from the rooftops and Facebook is the perfect platform to do so. Update your status to "we're engaged" or "is gonna be a Mrs!" to tell all of your friends about the proposal. You can also upload a picture of your diamond, or if you've got pics or video of him popping the question, by all means share it.

Sharing some of the details.

Feel free to share your wedding date via a status update, but be sure to keep it simple and to the point. Not all of your 100+ friends on FB will be invited to your big day, so be a little sensitive to that. And of course, change your relationship status from "in a relationship" to "engaged!!"

A lot of Brides like to keep everyone in the know about their planning process, and again, feel free to do this with your status, but be sure not to go overboard with Bride Brain.

Sharing a countdown to your special day is okay too - just try to stick with the landmarks of one year, 6 months, 1 week and 1 day. Seeing a constant countdown for most, is annoying.

Proper etiquette would be that you don't post your Registry information online. Getting a gift for getting married is a privilege, and not a right. If people (guests) want to buy you something, they will ask you, your fiance, a family member or a friend.

After your wedding feel free to brag a little. Heck, brag a lot. Post your pictures, thank your guests and  change your relationship status from "engaged" to "MARRIED!"
Just make sure to keep everything positive, do not complain about guest behaviour, or how much your new mother-in-law got on your nerves.

Wrap up all your wedding talk within 6 months, or less. As much as you're stoked to now be a Mrs, there are other things that should be important in your life as well.

Invitations.

Do not by any means invite friends/family/co-workers to your wedding using Facebook. Send out a proper invite with an RSVP card for them to reply.

Bridal Showers, Stag & Does and Bachelorette/Bachelor Parties can have Facebook Event pages to keep everyone in the loop, but we still advise that you send out proper invites or personal emails to all invited.



Incorporate FB into your Bridal Shower with customized cookies!

 Vendors.

Use Facebook to help you find vendors - that is if you don't have a Wedding Planner. And be sure to "like" the Fan Pages of the vendors you book with. Not only does it show support, but you just might see your wedding crop up in their status updates or albums.

While we're chatting about vendors, make note that it is a big no-no to post anything negative about your vendors through the social media site. We know that planning a wedding can be stressful, but please do not use Facebook to bad mouth anyone. Send an email or pick up the phone and make a call instead if you're not happy with their services/products.

On the day of.

Do not log on Facebook on your wedding day. You can change your status and upload photos the day after, or even when you get back from your honeymoon. Enjoy the day and stay offline.

Posting as a guest.

Most of your guests will post pictures from your big day on Facebook and tag you in the pictures. If this bothers you tell your friends that. Some people are private and do not want memories from their special day to go viral. There's no harm in placing a small note on your ceremony programs that you wish to be shown any pictures prior to posting - or that pictures simply aren't posted. Remember though, you can't control what others post, but you can ask - there's nothing wrong with asking and making that request.

However, as a guest - do your best to be respectful to the newlyweds and only post pictures that display them in their best light. Do the same for members of the wedding party - no one wants to see the Best Man making out with the Grooms sister. Tisk, tisk.

Now, go on....log on to Facebook and "like" us - The Bride's Butler.

Selecting your venue

This Saturday I’m going with my clients Brooke and Richard to look at a venue for their 2012 wedding. Do you know what to look for when deciding on a venue? Here are some helpful tips:

Dates:
Do they have your specific date available? If not, are you willing to change yours? Perhaps any Saturday in July is okay with you – or maybe you want a Friday. Check first – this will help you narrow your venue selection if you are dead set on a specific date.

Décor:
A lot of Brides & Grooms will fall in love with the décor and want to book right away. Be sure not to get caught up in the looks of it all. Remember; don’t judge a book by its cover. You want your venue to meet other needs as well.

Electrical:
What is the lighting like? Can it be lowered or altered? Will you need extra lighting? Also, check out the number of outlets in the room. This will come in handy for your DJ, Photographer and Decorator (if you hire one).

Candles:
Are you allowed to have candles lit during your reception? If so, can they be open flame, or must they be contained within a vase or jar? What about sparklers or fireworks?

Food:
Do they provide the food through in-house catering? Or do you have to hire an outside company? If they provide the food, what are your options and can you build from the existing packages – for example, make the filets bacon wrapped, or swap out mashed potatoes for baked. Also, can you bring in outside food? This is an important question if you have religious or traditional beliefs you need incorporated into your special day.

Drink:
Is alcohol (bar) included in the menu cost? Will you need to bring in your own drinks and bartender? If so, you’ll need to incorporate a liquor licence into your budget.

Extras:
What’s including with your booking? Some venues offer discounts at local hotels, or other wedding vendors such as limo and cake. Do they include linens and dishware in the price, or is that extra? Find out exactly what the “packages” offer.

Bathrooms:
Be sure to check the bathrooms. Are they easily accessible? Are they clean and well maintained? How many bathrooms and stalls?

Room layout:
Are you on the main level, or the second floor? Lot’s of stairs? Is there a room for you and your Wedding Party to freshen up in? Is there enough room for all of your guests and a dance floor?

Costs:
Is there a minimum you must spend in order to have your wedding at the venue? Is it slightly cheaper to have your wedding on a Friday rather than a Saturday? Are you able to cut costs by removing items from their “packages”? Also, keep in mind that 50% of your budget will be spend on the venue, including food & beverage.

Payment:
What kind of payment schedule do they follow? What percentage of your total cost is the deposit, and also find out if you have to pre-pay for your event, or pay the night of (balance owing). Also, find out about any hidden costs – this translates to read the contract!

Photographs:
When looking at the lighting, think of your pictures – although most Photographers should bring adequate equipment for this. Will you be taking pictures on site? Where, and will you need a permit or permission or are the grounds included in the booking of the venue?

Staff:
Meet the Manager/Owner and the Chef if possible. If they have an Event or Venue Coordinator, they will likely be your main contact. This person is key for your Wedding Planner, as we work together on your special day to ensure everything runs smoothly. Remember, a Venue Coordinator is not the same as a Wedding Coordinator.

Parking & Transportation:
Is the parking free, or will you have to pay per car? Is there enough parking for your guests and is it accessible? Will they have to park away from the location and walk? Will it be well lit at night? Is your venue near any hotels? Is your venue easy to find via a street map or road signage? If you’re ceremony is held at a different location, how far is this venue from it? You shouldn’t have your guests drive more than 30-45 minutes if possible.

Weather:
If you’re planning a summer wedding, does the venue have A/C? If not, how many windows open and to what degree? If in the winter, does the heat work and or is there a fireplace? If you’re having your ceremony at the venue and you want it outside, will it be tented, or do they have a room that can be used if it rains? How do they plan to maintain the grounds in wet weather such as rain or snow? Do they plough, drop ice melter, etc?

As you can see, ask lot’s of questions. If you’re working with a Planner, they will be able to guide you through the selection process of finding the right venue for your wedding. Don’t wait too long to find, select and book your venue. Some places are booking 16-24 months in advance!

Good manners go a long way....

We're all brought up to know the difference between good behaviour and bad behaviour. It's amazing how a little good manners can go a long way....they can make someones day!

In one day, I was thanked by two previous clients and it made me feel great! Everyone wants to hear that they did a good job - that they helped someone achieve a goal, and that they were successful. It's the "thank you's" that I hear and read from my clients that is the icing on the cake for my services. Sure, seeing the details come together, the guests having fun and the Bride & Groom laughing are fantastic -  but to actually be thanked is another way I  feel rewarded.

Brides, I encourage you to send an email, card or even extend a phone call to all of your vendors after your wedding day to let them know how much you appreciated their efforts. Say "please" and "thank you".
Help others and let others know how they have helped you..because a little good manners goes a long way.

Friendors

Vendors are business people/companies that offer services in a particular field. The Bride's Butler is a Wedding Vendor. A Photographer, Baker, Banquet Hall and Make-Up Artist are also Wedding Vendors. These people are the ones that help you create and form your event - unless of course you are going the "Do It Yourself " route on all accounts..and that to us = too much stress for you!

The Bride's Butler works with Vendors, whom we refer to as Friendors. These Friendors offer discounts and value add-ons to clients that are working with us for our Full Wedding Planning package.
Working together with a Planner and their Friendors can and will help you save money.

Often times Brides book us for Day of Coordination well before they've chosen any vendors - and we're pleased to suggest vendors for their wedding during the initial consultation meeting. Getting referrals from another professional, especially a Wedding Planner can help ease the decision making stress every Bride feels. There are also many Friendors that we're connected to that aren't listed on our site just yet.  

All vendors work in different ways, and I for one prefer to execute a wedding  alongside a professional that I know and trust, instead of with someone I'm meeting for the first time - or worse yet, someone I've heard unpleasant reviews about. Sometimes wedding vendors don't know what it's like to work with a Wedding Planner/ Coordinator - and that can be tough. We try our very best to communicate with all vendors at minimum the day before your wedding so that they are aware of our role, and of your (and our) expectations.

Knowing that a vendor has worked with a Planner/Coordinator before is comforting, as they will most likely respect our role as 'ring leader' for the day and will touch base with us and communicate any changes with us. Your vendors must act like a team on your wedding day - for we are there to work together for you; the Bride & Groom.

 
When a Vendor is a Friendor it's great for all parties involved.

Beginning in March we will have a monthly "Friendor Spotlight" on the blog. Stay tuned!

Will you marry me?

Proposals!

Who doesn't love a great proposal story?

Boy meets girl. Courtship. Love. Congratulations!

I love how in the movies, men usually state the girls entire name -

first and middle while on bended knee. "Mary Margaret, will you..."

And, for some reason I think that about 85% of the time, the girl answers with "of course!"

I wonder if there's a way to find out what the most common phrase uttered after a proposal is?

"Seriously?" or "Oh, my God!", and 'of course' there is the big one, the one the guy wants to hear..."YES!"

(Btw, if you find this percentage, holler at me will ya? Thx)

So, you said YES, now what?

You tell the masses about your proposal, that's what! Share your exciting and happy news with friends, family, co-workers, neighbours, and with whomever you want - flash that rock and your ear to ear smile all over the place! You deserve it, you're getting MARRIED!!

Most couples get engaged and right away they are changing their facebook status from In a Relationship to Engaged. They are tweeting about the proposal, and even possibly sending an announcement to the local paper. What did you do? Did you create a wedding website, or did you happen to have your proposal taped and then uploaded onto Youtube? How did you spread the news?

Once the news is spread, and the congrats and well wishes are graciously recieved, it's time to get into the nitty gritty of planning your wedding. But, we do stress (before you start to stress) that you take time to enjoy being engaged before you dive deep into the planning process. :)

So, what do we suggest are some of the first things you do after the engagement, but before the planning?

Brainstorm with your fiance the type of wedding you both want.

Will there be a theme? How do you want to express your own seperate personalities as well as your togetherness? For some couples it's through colours, unique details or the style of attire and venue.

To help you brainstorm, we suggest that you pick up a few magazines. Our favourites are Martha Stewart Weddings, Today's Bride, Weddingbells and Toronto Life's 2010 Wedding edition. Clip out pictures and create inspiration boards. This part of the planning is so much fun!

Next, hire a Wedding Planner. Whether you're a DYI Bride, and you want to plan every detail of your wedding on your own, or you're a full-time professional with little time or desire (gasp) to plan your own wedding, a planner can help you get the wedding you've always dreamt of. Planning a wedding takes lots of time, patience, money and compromise. Yes, even though it's all about the Bride, remember that there are mothers & mother-in-laws that will have input about your wedding ideas. A Planner can be your right hand woman, your rock, your therapist, and your saving grace when the going gets tough.

Then of course, you have to set a budget. Sometimes the creation of a budget involves you, your fiance, both sets of parents, and your Wedding Planner. The budget will depend on who is paying for the wedding. Be prepared to use your compromising skills. :) Your planner can also aid you with making proper decisions in regards to sticking to and within your budget.

Lastly, do your research! If you only want to hire a Wedding Planner for DOC services, thus eliminating your chances of getting industry discounts, extra value and referrals of trusted professionals usually only offered through Full Wedding Planning services, make sure you do much research before you book any vendors. Ask questions, get a second opinion and try to meet or consider 3 vendors at a time. Basically, pretend you're Simon Cowell of American Idol - only much nicer, and way prettier, and choose the vendors you want to see go to Hollywood (a.k.a your wedding) with you!

We're so glad you said YES! and are on your way to planning your

Happily Ever After.

*even Wedding Planners sometimes need inspiration. Today's post was inspired by a blog post at www.weddingaces.com