Facebook Wedding Etiquette

Facebook has more than 800 million active users. That's a lot of likes, wall posts, photo uploads and tags.
Like most things in life, there are certain rules to follow for certain tasks.
Do you know how to properly use Facebook during your planning process?

Here are some guidelines when using the popular social media site:



Announcing your engagement.

It's totally normal to want to shout it from the rooftops and Facebook is the perfect platform to do so. Update your status to "we're engaged" or "is gonna be a Mrs!" to tell all of your friends about the proposal. You can also upload a picture of your diamond, or if you've got pics or video of him popping the question, by all means share it.

Sharing some of the details.

Feel free to share your wedding date via a status update, but be sure to keep it simple and to the point. Not all of your 100+ friends on FB will be invited to your big day, so be a little sensitive to that. And of course, change your relationship status from "in a relationship" to "engaged!!"

A lot of Brides like to keep everyone in the know about their planning process, and again, feel free to do this with your status, but be sure not to go overboard with Bride Brain.

Sharing a countdown to your special day is okay too - just try to stick with the landmarks of one year, 6 months, 1 week and 1 day. Seeing a constant countdown for most, is annoying.

Proper etiquette would be that you don't post your Registry information online. Getting a gift for getting married is a privilege, and not a right. If people (guests) want to buy you something, they will ask you, your fiance, a family member or a friend.

After your wedding feel free to brag a little. Heck, brag a lot. Post your pictures, thank your guests and  change your relationship status from "engaged" to "MARRIED!"
Just make sure to keep everything positive, do not complain about guest behaviour, or how much your new mother-in-law got on your nerves.

Wrap up all your wedding talk within 6 months, or less. As much as you're stoked to now be a Mrs, there are other things that should be important in your life as well.

Invitations.

Do not by any means invite friends/family/co-workers to your wedding using Facebook. Send out a proper invite with an RSVP card for them to reply.

Bridal Showers, Stag & Does and Bachelorette/Bachelor Parties can have Facebook Event pages to keep everyone in the loop, but we still advise that you send out proper invites or personal emails to all invited.



Incorporate FB into your Bridal Shower with customized cookies!

 Vendors.

Use Facebook to help you find vendors - that is if you don't have a Wedding Planner. And be sure to "like" the Fan Pages of the vendors you book with. Not only does it show support, but you just might see your wedding crop up in their status updates or albums.

While we're chatting about vendors, make note that it is a big no-no to post anything negative about your vendors through the social media site. We know that planning a wedding can be stressful, but please do not use Facebook to bad mouth anyone. Send an email or pick up the phone and make a call instead if you're not happy with their services/products.

On the day of.

Do not log on Facebook on your wedding day. You can change your status and upload photos the day after, or even when you get back from your honeymoon. Enjoy the day and stay offline.

Posting as a guest.

Most of your guests will post pictures from your big day on Facebook and tag you in the pictures. If this bothers you tell your friends that. Some people are private and do not want memories from their special day to go viral. There's no harm in placing a small note on your ceremony programs that you wish to be shown any pictures prior to posting - or that pictures simply aren't posted. Remember though, you can't control what others post, but you can ask - there's nothing wrong with asking and making that request.

However, as a guest - do your best to be respectful to the newlyweds and only post pictures that display them in their best light. Do the same for members of the wedding party - no one wants to see the Best Man making out with the Grooms sister. Tisk, tisk.

Now, go on....log on to Facebook and "like" us - The Bride's Butler.

Life is like a bowl full of cherries....

Or, is life like a box of chocolates? One is sweet, the other is sour. One can go rotten, the other stale. Both however, can taste good. How you look at your wedding planning is all about perspective - all about how you see things, what you like best, and what is going to help you achieve happiness (before & after the wedding ceremony).

What's good for one, may be bad for another. What is one's dream, may be anothers nightmare - but at the end of the day (this day being your wedding rehearsal, the eve of your nuptials) you have to know that you did the best you could with planning a great party, and preparing yourself for what comes after the wedding - marriage.

There are going to be issues during your wedding planning - difference in opinions - and I can guarantee it, there will be spats (between you & your Groom, between you & his family /your family and between you & your friends).


Firstly, everyone should understand and respect that this is YOUR wedding - and by 'your', I mean you and your fiance. This is a special time for you, and all others should simply take joy in the happiest time of your life. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. You may have certain people that will try to add extra stresses for you - not sure why, jealousy perhaps. In the Wedding Industry, we call these wedding 'energy suckers' - Wedding Trolls. LOL! Have a good laugh if you can, because like mentioned above, it is YOUR day.
TIP: Talk to your fiance about anyone that is troubling you, and work it out together. Either turn a blind eye, or confront the person about how they are making you feel.

I see your 'full house', but I trump it with my 'Bride'. There's a reason why they say "it's for the Bride". Wedding planning is stressful - it's like having another full time job with way more bosses than co-workers. If the Bride asks you do help out, or to do something reasonable - then please, for everyone's sake - just do it.
Don't make issues out of small requests. Everyone should keep this in mind at all times - it's the Bride & Groom's day - your day will come, or it has already passed - it's not all about you, it's about them.
TIP: Be tactful with your requests. Big or small, those that love you and want to see you happy will help out. All others can, you know.....

You and your Groom 'chose' to be with each other. Again, people are going to have their say/opinon - about you, about your ideas, and about your wedding. No matter what is said, the two of you need to stick together - this is very important. Family is family, you don't pick them - but you picked who you want to spend the rest of your life with - make that choice count.
TIP: If he doesn't have your back, and tells you that he feels like he's "in the middle" of any issues that arise - that might be a sign that he doesn't view the two of you as a unit.
Working together should be easy and fun - not a battle.

May you remember that you can't please everyone, so aim to please just you and your Groom.
Weddings are all about 2 people joining together - and not about what family traditions have to be included, where relatives should be seated & when to have the first dance. A wedding should only be about you and your fiance - your wants, needs, desires and dreams.
TIP: Again, be tactful and compromise the best you can. Try to put yourself in the shoes of others simply for a 'reality check' as planning your wedding can become all encompassing, but don't settle for a wedding that isn't what you always envisioned.

Don't sweat the small stuff. You can plan until you're blue in the face, but things will still go wrong on your wedding day. Of course having a Wedding Planner on site helps with this, but if you don't have a Planner, try to focus on the reason you are gathered - for a marriage, not just a party. There's no wedding without the vows.
TIP: Keep a clear perspective. Keep it simple. You, him, marriage, life.

Try to keep your perspective about your wedding planning as 'sweet' as possible. Be respectful, but don't be taken for granted. Be heard, but not overbearing. Be you - and if that's an issue for anyone, then they don't deserve to be a part of your special day.

Overall, try not to get too stressed out - and if you do, that may be telling you more than you think. Take a step back and look beyond the wedding, beyond the 'one day of celebration' and make sure that you're having a party for all the right reasons, because in the end - it is just one day.

Good luck!