How to Prioritise

When it comes to planning a wedding, you have to prioritise. But how do you do that you might ask?
Well, here are some tips to remember when it comes to prioritising.

Ask yourself what MUST be done today, and what can wait until tomorrow or the next day?

If you have a deposit due or a vendor meeting, then that is a priority and must be executed. If you need to return an item you bought for your wedding and then changed your mind about it, you can do that task another time.

Try not to let interruptions hinder you from completing your priority task

Hubbie-to-be wants you to watch the game with him but you need to finish the seating chart? Make a compromise with him that during commercial breaks you BOTH work on the chart together. Do your best to stay on task for you'll find there is always a reason or excuse to not do some wedding work.

Plan ahead and make time for checking items of your to-do list

When planning a wedding it might seem like every task is a priority, but that's not true. There are certain goals you need to achieve by specific time frames (see this checklist from Real Simple here for help) and in order to complete these on time you have to make time. I like to recommend to my clients that Wednesday evenings become "Wedding Wednesdays." In the beginning stages of your planning (first  few months) have this evening set aside every other week to talk about your ideas, make phone calls, send emails and check items of your to-do list. As your wedding gets closer, you may find you use every Wednesday to tie ribbon on favours, fold programs, and other tasks for your special day.

Don't forget to make you and your fiance a priority

Try to make time for the things you used to do before you got engaged (because sometimes you'll find you might stop doing anything that doesn't involve the wedding). Spend time with your friends (sans wedding talk), get a pedicure and have a monthly (cause really, weekly is a little unrealistic) date night with your man. Make sure to spend alone time as well - take a bath, read a book or go for a walk.

Bad Bridesmaids

Bad Bridesmaids - it's more common than you think.

You ask your friends to be in your wedding party because you want them to take joy in your special day. Most will say 'yes' because they are honoured and couldn't imagine not being by your side for when you say "I do" and others say 'yes' because they want to show you love and support during a very stressful time. Then there are some who say 'yes' simply out of obligation - whether that be because of past history with them, or because they are family. Don't get me wrong, sometimes Brides will ask family, future family-to-be and friends to be Bridesmaids because they feel obligated to do so, but either way, once you say 'yes' and become a Bridesmaid you have accepted a position - you have given your word - you have made a commitment to what most consider an honour.

As a Bridesmaid (BM) or Maid or Matron of Honour (MOH) you have a few responsibilities, including but not limited to:

- supporting the Bride & her decisions

- planning and hosting of a Bridal Shower, helping with food & assisting with games

- tag along to as many vendor meetings as possible as requested by the Bride to give your support
- remembering that this is your friends day, so showing respect & tact in all you do

- coordinating a Stag & Doe, selling tickets and attending the event

- planning & attending a Bachelorette Party

- other tasks requested by the couple (within reason of course!)

- As MOH you are the signing witness at the ceremony and you hold the Bride's bouquet for her

Being a bridesmaid is truly an honour and a job to take seriously. Being in a Wedding Party can be expensive, most Brides know this and try to accommodate the best they can by providing payment for hair or make-up on the day of, but mostly as a Bridesmaid you will incur most of the costs. You will likely need to pay for the dress, shoes, accessories (unless given as a thank you gift from the Bride), hair, make-up, Bridal Shower expenses, travel, accommodations, and a gift (typically given by all members of the wedding party to save money). On average you can expect to spend $500 plus when accepting to be a BM or MOH.

If you are unsure of your role and your duties, ask the Bride. Organized Brides will offer you an itinerary, or a friendly budget breakdown as a guide. If you don't think you can handle the responsibilities, time and expenses after you have said 'yes' don't feel bad about talking to the Bride and seeing if you can respectfully decline. Most Brides will understand and will place you in a role like Program Attendant, or they can be a reader during your ceremony so that you can still participate in the event. Whatever you do, don't become a Bad Bridesmaid.

Traits of a Bad Bridesmaid are:

- Not getting along with other members of the Wedding Party.

- Showing up late or not at all to wedding related festivities (Shower, Stag & Doe, Rehearsal)

- Dismissing the requests of the Bride ("No, I will not wear those shoes")

- Blatantly trying to upstage the Bride in any way, shape or form. It is her day, not yours.

- Getting rip roaring drunk at any wedding related festivities, especially the wedding.

- Talking poorly about the Bride, Groom or family members to other members of the Wedding Party, or anyone else for that matter.


So Brides, how do you deal with Bad Bridesmaids? There are many ways, but the best way is to be respectful, tactful and truthful. Tell (don't ask) them to discontinue their role. If this ends the friendship, better to find out now and move on. If it doesn't, as she may feel relieved to have the duty taken away, then place her among other guests so that she can still enjoy your wedding day. For more help on how to deal, give us a call for a Consultation or scour the Internet for tips.

No matter what, there are going to be people that will put a damper on your wedding planning process.
Try not to stress out too much, and keep in mind what you can do for your Bridesmaids to make the experience pleasurable for them and everyone else that's involved.
Good luck!