Toast Do's and Don'ts

Last June I was asked by The Hamilton Spectator for some Do's and Don'ts for wedding toasts.

Here are my suggestions for a flawless toast to the Bride & Groom:

DO

Keep it short. Don’t ramble on, three minutes max. “People have a short attention span as it is.” Five minutes is definitely pushing it. “Rehearse, practice and time yourself.”

Have notes. It seems more natural to just have points of interest to refer back to. “It’s always good to have something written down because your emotions are running high. You don’t want to just fly by the seat of your pants because that’s when the rambling starts.”

Be yourself and be original. Maybe you want to make it rhyme or incorporate a poem that’s fitting. “It shouldn’t be something generic you got online.”

DON’T

Don’t roast the couple. “Keep it classy.” No one wants to hear about an embarrassing moment on such a special occasion. That includes roasting guests, too. “Avoid calling people out on past mistakes in general.”

Don’t toast yourselves. This is more for the bride and groom. If someone says ‘and cheers to the bride and groom” you’re just supposed to just “take it and smile for the cameras.” Do not clap or clink your glasses or raise your glass. “It’s considered poor taste. You’re just supposed to graciously accept the toast.”

Don’t apologize for being nervous. Most people already expect you to be somewhat uncomfortable speaking in front of large groups. “You don’t need to point it out to make it more noticeable.”

Father of the Bride

We've had posts about the Maid/Matron of Honour, The Best Man, Bridesmaids and the Mother of the Bride, but have yet to cover the Father of the Bride.

The Father of the Bride is usually the most important man in a Bride's life, next to her future husband. He is the man that will walk her down the aisle and 'give her away' to the Groom. He typically offers a toast at the reception and can give a speech if he so desires.

What should The Father of the Bride say to his daughter, future son-in-law and guests?

Here are some topics to touch on:

Welcome - The Father of the Bride usually speaks first, or is the second to speak after the MC or the Best Man speech. He should welcome guests to the wedding and thank out of town guests for joining in the celebration. He should thank people that made the day possible and participating in the planning process and the overall upbringing of the Bride.

Ceremony - He should mention the union that took place at the ceremony and the love his daughter and the groom share for one another. A nice quote, bible verse or song lyric can help with expressing any emotions he may wish to share.

The Bride - The Father of the Bride should talk about the Bride, how proud he is of her and provide a few fun facts about her. Keep this brief as not many people care to hear long winded stories of her childhood like losing her first tooth, her awkward teenage years or the troubles she got into during College. Talk about some of her talents, skills and accomplishments, but keep it short and sweet.

Their Relationship - Mention the relationship between the Bride and Groom. How they met, how he felt when he knew his little girl was in love and his hopes for them for their future together.

The Groom - Welcome him to your family and provide him with a few tips and advice like family traditions, etc. You can poke a little fun at him if you have a good relationship with him, but keep it classy.  You don't want to embarrass him or your daughter. Be sure to make him feel special and accepted.

Wise Words/Toast - End your speech with a few relationship lessons and wise words. Offer an example from  your relationship with her mother if it's a healthy one. Tell them about your hopes, dreams and wishes for them and your excitement of what lies ahead for them as a family.

The Father of the Bride is an important role in a wedding, so be sure to take it seriously, but have fun with it as well. Weddings are an emotional day, so be sure to cherish every moment.

*Photo by Angela Devries Photography from the wedding of Natalie & Jason