Bad gift or bad Bride?

A girl and her partner attended an acquaintance's wedding and gifted the Brides with a basket of goodies including premium salsa, chips, marshmallow fluff spread and other sweet treats. She took the time to shop for these treats, and signed the card with, "Life is delicious - Enjoy!" Not your standard wedding gift, but a kind gesture none the less to wish the newlyweds well.

After the wedding, one of the Brides texted the girl with this;"I'm not sure if it's the first wedding you have been to, but for your next wedding … people give envelopes. I lost out on $200 covering you and your dates plate . … and got fluffy whip and sour patch kids in return. Just a heads-up for the future."

You know what I have to say to that? Tisk, tisk. 

Firstly, shame on the Bride for sending a text like that, and shame on her for not thinking the girls gift was up to par. I would have retorted to that text with a simple "Just an envelope, eh? I think my gift was better than a paper letter holder." But, that's just me.

When you get married, do not expect guests to even give you a gift. Getting a gift should not be an expectation. If you are only getting married and having a wedding to reap a whack load of money and or gadgets for your home - don't have a wedding. I'm a firm believer that your wedding shouldn't put your guests in the poor house. There are showers, Stag & Does, Bachelorette parties and then the wedding...that is enough to put anyone into overdraft.

Also, expecting your guests to know the cost per plate is ridiculous. Guests should give what they can afford, not what they 'think' each plate is worth. Every wedding is different, and there is no way of telling how much or how little the couple spent hosting their wedding.

In my opinion, I think giving a gift that you chose as a personalized gift (i.e: not a cheque and not something from the registry) is a nice gesture. I'm a fan of personalized gifts. In fact, I have given personalized gifts in the past to friends, and they have been thankful for them. Once, I gave a friend a limited edition print that had a beautiful winter scene and had a Bernese mountain dog in it, which is the breed she owns. I also had it personally signed by the artist. Had she had balked at that gift, I think it would have put our friendship in perspective. Real friends don't judge you on your choices, especially when it comes to gifts. Tisk Tisk. Which brings me to another point, why did this Bride invite the girl who is stated as being an "acquaintance"? You are to invite your closest family and friends to your wedding to celebrate in your joy, not everyone that you know or have talked to a handful of times. That is greedy. My rule of thumb for inviting guests; if you haven't had a sit down meal with them in the past calendar year, they shouldn't make the cut. 

I could go on about how this Bride was out of line sending that text and having that reaction to the gift, but I won't. What I will say again is, if you are having a wedding to make money, don't have one. Do you have a dinner party at your home so you can stock up on bottles of wine and or flowers? No. Do you have a birthday or Anniversary party so you can get gifts? No. You should gather with your friends because you want to celebrate with them, and spend time with them - not to get anything else in return.

So, tisk tisk to the Bride. And I say Bravo to the girl for giving a gift that she felt was suited for the couple. Bad gift? Nope. Bad Bride? Heck yes.

To read this entire story, check it out here on thespec.com