We've moved!

It's our 5th Anniversary and we've launched a new website & blog!

Come visit us at www.bridesbutler.ca/blog/ to keep up to date with what we're up to, real weddings, advice and more!

Final Sneak Peek!

Monday is a big day for Bride's Butler!

We're celebrating our 5th Anniversary by launching our new website and blog with showcasing our re-brand. You'll notice a new color palette, a fancy new logo and three new service packages.

I'm so excited to be celebrating such a milestone! I'll never forget my good friend and fellow vendor Christine of Designs by Law tell me in my 1st year; "if you can make it to your 5th year, you're golden." And we have!

Being able to assist couples on their wedding day as brought so much joy to us, and we can't wait to see how we will continue to grow and succeed with the re-brand!

I will post about the re-branding process complete with photos as the weeks unfold.

Thank you to everyone that has supported Bride's Butler over the past 5 years!

xo

Asking for your opinion

A few weeks ago a friend of mine on Facebook commented on this photo where a Bride was asking for opinions from people on the social media site about which wedding gown to choose. Stated in the upload of the picture was a request to state your favourite in the comments and to not post anything negative towards the Bride.

What was my initial reaction to seeing this? "Does this poor girl not have any family members or Bridesmaids to ask?" I give her credit for having the courage to post this photo and ask for opinions from strangers, but on the other hand, I feel bad for her that she felt she had to resort to that option to choose her wedding gown. Picking out a dress should be a personal experience, which is typically an emotional one shared with family and friends. On another note, people can be mean - so posting this photo may have generated some negative comments (I didn't scroll through the thousands she got) which may be hard to read, especially during an already stressful time (planning a wedding is stressful).

The majority of comments chose B, and I have to agree. The A-line skirt and rushing flatters her body type better than A. I hope that no matter what dress she picked, she is happy with her choice and feels beautiful in it. Every girl deserves to feel that way on her wedding day.

With shows like Say Yes to the Dress, I know it's hard to distinguish between what should be made public and what should be kept private, but in my opinion, this experience should have been kept private. If you were dating two men, would you post their pictures on Facebook and ask complete strangers to help you choose which one would be a better mate? This goes back to my statement about television and reality tv. We are surrounded by shows like the Bachelorette, Four Weddings and whatnot that confuse us on what is real and what is scripted. My thoughts? Your life is not a tv show, so enjoy the ride the best you can and accept that your 15 minutes of fame may never come. On your wedding day you will be the center of attention, and for the rest of your life you will be the best choice for your hubs, so that should be enough.

Maybe I'm wrong on this and asking for a mass opinion isn't such a bad idea. We do live in the era of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram where we all over-share. So, what do you think? Would you post a picture like this and ask for comments?

Cat fight.

If you didn't read the last post about the guest that attended a wedding and got called out by the Bride for giving a so-called "bad gift," you might want to do that here before I go into a tangent.

I had my say on the situation in the previous blog post, and also chatted about it with many friends and family - my opinion stayed the same...until now. The other day I read another article that displayed the text and email conversations between the guest and the Bride and to say I was disgusted is an understatement.

This situation was and is nothing more than a glorified cat fight.

Both parties are at fault. Both are trying to school the other on how to behave, react and treat others. I'm a big believer of "treat others the way you want to be treated", as well as "what we don't know won't hurt us."
Neither the guest or the Bride treated one another with respect, and at times I felt the conversations between the two aired on the side of bullying. To tell someone that they were the talk of your wedding and should be embarrassed that they were talked about and laughed at is a) not nice to tell someone, and b) not nice to do. Why on earth would you be so immature at your own wedding and so disrespectful to another is beyond me. It was a wedding and not a high school prom, right?

The fact that both of them took jabs at one another was hard to read. Weddings are to be a joyous occasion and bring people together, not tear them apart. Clearly, these girls shouldn't be friends, and that is how I would have handled the entire situation. If I was the guest and got that initial text, I would have thanked her for her opinion and then cut her out of my life. No one needs to be judged or made to feel bad for a decision they made with good intentions. But on the other hand, no one likes to be schooled about how to behave after the behavior has been executed, and both the guest and the Bride did that. Keep your comments to yourself, be gracious and be thankful. If you want to make fun of the gift choice to your new husband or wife, do that behind closed doors. Have a chuckle and leave it at that.
If you get scolded by a bride or groom for your gift choice, then make note of the type of personality trait they are showing (selfish, ungrateful, etc) and consider a friendship lost - don't go telling all of your friends and the local newspaper of their lack of tact because it just shows that you don't have much either.

So folks, at the end of this rant, I'd like to say tisk tisk to both the guest and the Bride. I'm tired of hearing about it, and reading about it, aren't you? Let's just drop this topic and call it what it is....a cat fight.

Bad gift or bad Bride?

A girl and her partner attended an acquaintance's wedding and gifted the Brides with a basket of goodies including premium salsa, chips, marshmallow fluff spread and other sweet treats. She took the time to shop for these treats, and signed the card with, "Life is delicious - Enjoy!" Not your standard wedding gift, but a kind gesture none the less to wish the newlyweds well.

After the wedding, one of the Brides texted the girl with this;"I'm not sure if it's the first wedding you have been to, but for your next wedding … people give envelopes. I lost out on $200 covering you and your dates plate . … and got fluffy whip and sour patch kids in return. Just a heads-up for the future."

You know what I have to say to that? Tisk, tisk. 

Firstly, shame on the Bride for sending a text like that, and shame on her for not thinking the girls gift was up to par. I would have retorted to that text with a simple "Just an envelope, eh? I think my gift was better than a paper letter holder." But, that's just me.

When you get married, do not expect guests to even give you a gift. Getting a gift should not be an expectation. If you are only getting married and having a wedding to reap a whack load of money and or gadgets for your home - don't have a wedding. I'm a firm believer that your wedding shouldn't put your guests in the poor house. There are showers, Stag & Does, Bachelorette parties and then the wedding...that is enough to put anyone into overdraft.

Also, expecting your guests to know the cost per plate is ridiculous. Guests should give what they can afford, not what they 'think' each plate is worth. Every wedding is different, and there is no way of telling how much or how little the couple spent hosting their wedding.

In my opinion, I think giving a gift that you chose as a personalized gift (i.e: not a cheque and not something from the registry) is a nice gesture. I'm a fan of personalized gifts. In fact, I have given personalized gifts in the past to friends, and they have been thankful for them. Once, I gave a friend a limited edition print that had a beautiful winter scene and had a Bernese mountain dog in it, which is the breed she owns. I also had it personally signed by the artist. Had she had balked at that gift, I think it would have put our friendship in perspective. Real friends don't judge you on your choices, especially when it comes to gifts. Tisk Tisk. Which brings me to another point, why did this Bride invite the girl who is stated as being an "acquaintance"? You are to invite your closest family and friends to your wedding to celebrate in your joy, not everyone that you know or have talked to a handful of times. That is greedy. My rule of thumb for inviting guests; if you haven't had a sit down meal with them in the past calendar year, they shouldn't make the cut. 

I could go on about how this Bride was out of line sending that text and having that reaction to the gift, but I won't. What I will say again is, if you are having a wedding to make money, don't have one. Do you have a dinner party at your home so you can stock up on bottles of wine and or flowers? No. Do you have a birthday or Anniversary party so you can get gifts? No. You should gather with your friends because you want to celebrate with them, and spend time with them - not to get anything else in return.

So, tisk tisk to the Bride. And I say Bravo to the girl for giving a gift that she felt was suited for the couple. Bad gift? Nope. Bad Bride? Heck yes.

To read this entire story, check it out here on thespec.com